The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Friday, September 14, 2007

The long and short about How To Propose. In A Romantic Way.

A colleague of mine was telling us during tea time how he was planning to propose. He intended to bring his girlfriend shopping over the weekend, and then take her to SK and pick a ring.

Eh, that’s about it.

“Men!” exclaimed Office Bimbo, “Can be the most unromantic of creatures.”

Although Office Bimbo is not known for her intellectual views, I have to admit she does make sense. But being a Man of Action, I am determined to change that perception! Even though I don’t even have a girlfriend, I have brainstormed a list of damn lomantic ways to pop The Question:

1) The Singaporean Technique
As the name suggest, this will only work if you are a Singaporean or PR. It is very simple but effective: all you need to do is to grab her hands, look deep into her eyes, and whisper the words, “Honey, let’s go apply for an HDB flat ok?”. Then you pause dramatically for effect before following with a “At Punggol :)!”.

This method is highly recommended because you are showing your sincerity by committing to a lengthy and expensive purchase with her. After she is done with her tears of joy, you can go into details such as 4 room/5 room, interest rates, and payment periods.

2) The Dramatic Technique
Tell her she can’t say no because you are pregnant.

3) The Wait & Delay Technique
The unique thing about this proposing technique is that you don’t propose at all. In fact, all you need to do is to do nothing, and act noncommittal all the way. Once your girlfriend approaches 30, she will start to panic, and if you are lucky she will be the one proposing instead. You will also get to save on the very expensive proposal ring :)

4) The Food Technique
They say a Singaporean is happiest when they are eating, so it makes sense to propose midway through your meal. In fact, if I were you, I will bring her to McDonald’s. She will be very Happy when she finds a ring in her Happy Meal.

Alternatively, if she doesn’t like Mc’s, you can hide your proposal ring in her plate of char kway teow. She will be most touched by your romantic gesture when she discovers the ring, provided she doesn’t bite too hard and suffer a chipped tooth.

5) The Poetic Technique
This is arguably the most difficult method of them all. To start off, you need to pen a heart-felt poem to show how important she is in your life. The following is an example of a good poem that I came up with myself:

“Oh my darling (insert name of your girlfriend here),
You are such a sweet little honeybee !
I can’t imagine my life without you near me,
So will you please agree to marry me :)?”

After your work of art is completed, send it to a radio station and beg them to broadcast it. When your girlfriend (and all her friends) hears it, she will be so touched she will love you forever. I think. And don't worry too much if the radio stations reject your request, because you can still broadcast your love with a loud hailer in Orchard.

I think I can be quite romantic when I want to. Heh :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian


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