The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Monday, February 14, 2011

The long and short about The Valentine's Special

Hello and a very Happy Valentine's to everyone :D!!

Once again, Sibeh Sian apologies for the sibeh long absence. Indeed, this absence felt longer because of the many earth-shaking and ground-breaking events that has happened around the globe, such as the grand opening of Popeye’s at Toa Payoh Central. Having MIAed for so long, I feel obliged to share this nugget of wisdom with everyone out there: the stuff they serve at KFC taste so much better!

Now the reason for this post is not because of fried chicken, but I can assure you that it’s no less momentous an event. I thought you guys might want to know that two of my closest friends got married just a few hours back.

Nerd. And Office Bimbo. To each other!

To cut a very, very long story short, the romance between Nerd and Office Bimbo started in a small, dark and dingy hotel room in Bangkok, where they were sent for a work assignment. Now before you start getting any funny ideas, Nerd was having the most horrible case of tummyache after too many bowls of spicy tom yum. I didn’t know she had it in her, but Office Bimbo took great care in nursing Nerd back to health. In fact, she was so nursing, she ended up nursing their baby in her womb by the time the week-long trip ended.

The office was all happy and excited with the coming arrival of MiniNerd. I was also all happy and excited because I thought the weird rumour about me having Nerd’s baby (what the?!?) will finally be put to rest. Unfortunately, I realized I was hopelessly wrong after receiving anonymous post-it notes telling me to ‘be strong’ and ‘he will come back to me one day’. I have no idea why people assume that there’s something going on between the two of us, when all we do is just eat, sleep, and go to the loo together.

Anyway, I suspect Office Bimbo don’t really like me. She promised to sit me next to a drop-dead-gorgeous bachelorette for their wedding dinner, so imagine my horror when Ms Tan took the seat to my left just before the dinner started.

Drop-dead-gorgeous bachelorette my a$$ :(

Speaking of Ms Tan, she is getting from bad to worse. It’s been years since I joined the company, but she still insist on vetting critiquing every single thing I do, including my monthly reports, my hairstyle, and what I had for breakfast. I seriously think she should get a life, and being a Man With Balls of Steel, subtly suggested as much to her during the dinner by casually asking her if she’ll be retiring soon. She replied with an icy stare and ordered me to peel her drunken prawns. Being a Man With Balls of Steel, I obliged.

On to happier stuff: As Nerd’s Best Friend and Best Man, I’m proud to say I had a big hand in the wedding preparations, which had to be done in a mad rush considering Office Bimbo’s rapidly bulging tummy. You will be glad to know that I went against convention, and daringly chose the auspicious Hokkien tune of Ji Pa Ban as the march-in theme. The older folks were in a delighted frenzy, and I amused them even more by playing the seldom-heard but sibeh gung-ho Matsuri by Kitaro when they were serving the first dish. Not forgetting the younger crowd, I played YMCA for the second march-in. I’m seriously considering a second career as a DJ.

Besides music selection and choreography, I also served as Nerd’s fitness instructor, and urged him to lift weights prior to the wedding just so that he has enough strength to pop the champagne. He obviously didn’t take my advice to heart, and was caught struggling with his cork in front of a very embarrassed crowd. He must have stood there for at least a good minute, when Office Bimbo couldn’t bear it any longer and took over the popping duties. The good news was that she successful popped it in her first attempt, while the not-so-good news was that the cork somehow came slamming against my forehead. I suspect Office Bimbo don’t really like me.

The sweetest part of the evening, besides the ‘I Do’s’ and the mango sago with ice cream dessert, was when the happy couple gave their thank you speech. I was very touched by Nerd because besides thanking his mum and dad, he gave special thanks for my help in both the wedding and the courtship (I was supposed to go for the Thailand trip, but as dreadful as it was, I couldn’t miss the last episode of 破天网). I just wished he would end it there instead of his "I will miss all the good times we had together and you will always have a very special place in my heart". For her speech, Office Bimbo thanked me profusely for not going to Thailand. She also admitted she would have left me suffering on my own if I was the one struck with food poisoning. I suspect Ofice Bimbo don’t really like me.

Despite all the embarrassment and troubles they have caused me in our years of friendship, I felt genuinely happy for the couple, and was even a bit emotional when they did the toasting, the photo-taking, and eventually the handshaking and goodbye-ing after the last drop of champagne was sipped. Looking at their happy faces as they smiled at each other with fingers tightly intertwined, I’m glad that Nerd and Office Bimbo has finally found the love of their life in each other. I wish them everlasting matrimonial bliss with their MiniNerd and hopefully many MiniOfficeBimbos to come, and I wish them a very Happy Valentine’s.

A very Happy Valentine’s to you too :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. I just got word that Ms Tan will be calling in sick because of food poisoning. I wonder what did that silly woman ate.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

The long and short about WARNING: IMPOSTER ALERT!

Hello everyone :D!!!!

Yes yes, I've not been blogging for ages, so paiseh, haha.... Anyway, it was brought to my attention recently that someone is impersonating me and leaving comments all over other blogs.

The scary thing is that this imposter has copied my template wholesale (archives and all) and his/her replica is an exact mirror image of this blog! If you think that's scary, I heard he even copies the same brand of underwear I wear (Crocodile, if you must know).

Haha, I was kidding about the last part of course... I think. Anyway, have no fear because here's how to differentiate the imitation from this dead blog :D! This is how the real blog looks like, with the blog address spelt in full:


The fake link through the imposter’s account is spelled with a double ‘ii’:


My real profile page shows my original joining date of March 2006:


The imposter joined on October 2009 with a lower view count:


So please don’t get fooled :D! I bear absolutely no responsibility if you’re conned into lending money for the fake SibehSiian :D!

Ok, that’s all :)! Wishing everyone a very happy 6 Oct 2009 :)!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. Sibeh Sian likes to let everyone know that he is very touched and appreciative that there are still friends who click on this blog even though it’s been neglected for such a long time, with no signs of getting resurrected. He promises to write more if he ever strikes Toto (top prize, sole winner, at least twice) and escapes from his life as a lowly office dweller :)

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The long and short about Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009 :)

HELLO HELLO HELLO EVERYBODY :D! A very Happy 2009 to everybody ah :D!!!!

Yes yes, I know it’s been a very, very long time since I last updated, and I am very paiseh about for MIAing. But I have a very, very good reason for not updating: I got promoted!

To cut a long story short, The Boss told me he was really pleased with my performance during our annual appraisal earlier this year (totally unrelated, but I would like to mention here that my Boss is a man of great virtue and intelligence). He decided that the lowly position of Miscellaneous Executive is too lowly for a person of such incredibly high caliber (my words, not his, ahem).

I am pleased to announce here that I now hold the highly coveted position of Senior Miscellaneous Executive :).

But to be frank, I felt I did not deserve the promotion because truth to be told, the best contribution I had for the company was to improve the high scores of Minesweeper in the office computers. But the $50 increment that came with the promotion was just too tempting and so I couldn’t say ‘no’ to the man. I decided to make up for my past indiscretions by being doubly hard at work, which explains the grand total of three posts this miserable blog enjoyed in 2008. Yes, you probably can tell that I am a Changed Man now. Sibeh Sian is now a Sibeh Hardworking Man :)!

Anyway, I don’t mean to be hao lian, but being a Senior Miscellaneous Executive really has its perks. Not only did I get the above-mentioned $50 increment, I also got a one-time bonus of $100 NTUC voucher (which I gave to my grateful mum) and a kick-ass Popular membership card. Plus, I get to put the word ‘Senior’ on my name card. Like I said, I’m not a hao lian, but I painstakingly underlined the word ‘Senior’ just in case people miss that word :)

But the biggest perk of getting promoted is that I finally, finally got my own office, which comes with my own big-ass LCD TV :)! You can’t tell how happy I am because I seriously was getting a little bit sick of squeezing together with Nerd in our tiny, smelly little cubicle. We were seriously a little bit too close for comfort, and with gossip-mongers like Office Bimbo around, my reputation as an innocent straight boy could have been affected sia. Hiaz. . . . I really hope to meet my One True Love and settle down in 2009 sia :(

The only person who didn’t take too kindly to my promotion was Ms Tan. I swear man, this woman is out to destroy my career. She told The Boss upfront that I wasn’t deserving of the promotion, and even threatened to quit if he didn’t rescind his decision.

She is just like that evil woman in Little Nonya sia.


Sad to say, my stoopid Boss managed to dissuade Ms Tan from leaving by bribing her with a promotion. I thought about reporting him to CPIB or counter-propose by threatening to quit if he goes ahead with her promotion, but decided not to because I am basically hum ji a nice guy :)

Anyway, I’ve resolved to make peace with Ms Tan because now that I’m in such a Senior position, I can’t afford to be that petty anymore. I know she hates my guts because she thinks I slack at work, so over the past year I’ve been working very hard to correct that misconception.

Alas, I realized that it’s actually very hard to be hardworking because there really isn’t much work to be done in my company. But even though there are no opportunities for me to be hardworking, I’ve come to this realization that I have to appear hardworking anyway so that I won’t get despised by Ms Tan.

I thus made the painful decision of smuggling in my Wii to the office. Everyday without fail, I will summon Nerd into my office, lock the door, and then play our Wii Wii the whole day long under the pretence of working, heh. I am proud to announce here that we have completed Zelda thrice over sia :)

We were almost caught once when Ms Tan demanded to be let into my office, but we were very smart and asked for some time to clean up the room because of coffee spillage while we quickly kept my Wii Wii, heh. Besides that small hitch, I think my hard work at appearing to be hardworking has been working really well because people have been giving us approving smiles whenever we meet them in the pantry, haha.

In fact, my Boss has arranged for another performance appraisal with me next week. Maybe he is thinking of promoting me to an even more Senior position :). Do wish me luck :D!!

Here’s wishing everyone a great 2009 :)!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The long and short about The 2012 Olympics Games

Mark Richman: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and a very warm welcome to the closing ceremony of the 2012 Singapore Olympic Games. I am Mark Richman, your host for tonight, and with me is the very sporty and outgoing Jade Jia.

Jade Jia: Oh hi everyone, I am Jade Jia! *Flashes megawatt smile*

Mark Richman: For those of you who have just joined us in this live telecast, you are witnessing history in the making! Our city state managed to amass an unprecedented haul of 2 gold medals, and we are closing it with a big bang tonight right here at the National Stadium.

Jade Jia: Yes Mark, it has been the most incredible games indeed. At the same time though, I’m feeling a tinge of sadness because this will be the last event that is being held at our beloved National Stadium before its closure for demolition.

Mark Richman: I know exactly how you feel Jade, but not to worry. I have been to the last few ‘last events’ that the National Stadium hosted, and I’ve always felt cheated, er, I meant inspired afterwards because they just keep having those ‘last events’. I think the National Stadium is the very epitome of the Singaporean ‘Never Say Die’ spirit!

Jade Jia: Very well said Mark! You make me feel like singing Count On Me Singapore now!

Mark Richman: Well Jade, you make me feel like Mari Kita, eh, I meant feel like singing Mari Kita too, haha. . . . Anyway, let’s have a recap of the most memorable events in the games before the closing ceremony begin!

Jade Jia: The most talked about event is of course the Men’s Marathon, in which Singapore won its first ever Olympic gold medal by Olympian Goh Ah Kim.

Mark Richman: In what was one of the most controversial moves in the history of Olympics, several athletes were disqualified mid-way through the race after they were caught littering.


Jade Jia: For their blatant disregard for our country’s image as a Clean and Green city, not only were they disqualified from the race, they were also fined $500 each.

Mark Richman: Racing associations around the world have been crying foul over what they perceive to be draconian measures by the Singaporean authorities. But just between you and me Jade, I think they got away lightly because if they were in Malaysia, they would have been charged with sodomy.

Jade Jia: Indeed Mark. Anyway, thanks to the many years of civic education, our very own Goh Ah Kim was the first athlete to cross the finishing line without breaking any rules and won the well deserved gold medal. Kudos to him!

Mark Richman: Moving on, Singapore made history when 2WO (RET) Hock Kian Peng became the oldest Olympic gold medalist ever when he won the Men’s Archery.

Mark Richman: In our interview with the 60 year-old 2WO (RET) Hock after his win, he revealed his exceptional archery skills were honed during his stint in the armed forces, where he used a lot of eye power and arrowed his subordinates into doing unpleasant duties on a daily basis.

Jade Jia: 2WO (RET) Hock’s triumph was however overshadowed when he was caught making out with the very buxomy Ms Coral Chen of the beach volleyball team after supper in the Olympic Village.


Mark Richman: Come to think of it Jade, didn’t you lose to Ms Chen in the finals of Miss Sembawang Universe a few years back?

Jade Jia: Oh, we are like the best of friends now! In fact, looking at her in her well-filled bikini top and tanned complexion makes me feel like hitting the beach right now!

Mark Richman: . . . . Eh Jade, you didn’t just say something offensive on national TV right?

Jade Jia: Huh? What are you talking about?

Mark Richman: I swore I heard you referring to Ms Chen as a bitch!

Jade Jia: . . . . I meant ‘beach’, you dumb f%#k!

Mark Richman: . . . . Eh, I think it’s time for a commercial break!

. . . . (five minutes later). . . .

Mark Richman: Hello everyone, and a very warm welcome back to the live telecast of the closing ceremony of the 2012 Singapore Olympics!

Mark Richman: Due to unforeseen circumstances, the lovely Ms Jade Jia have to leave us tonight. But not to worry, you still have me, haha.

Mark Richman: And joining me now is Mr Pierre Dom Perrier, our Chef de Mission for the Olympics!


Pierre Dom Perrier: Bonjour! I’m Pierre, your Chef de Mission, but I won’t be cooking anything tonight. Haha, just kidding. But I really won’t be cooking anything. No kidding!

Mark Richman: So Mr Perrier, how would you rate the performance of our athletes in this Olympics?

Pierre Dom Perrier: Mon dieu! After the gold-winning feats in the Men’s Marathon and Archery, I can only describe our performance as terrible!

Mark Richman: Huh?!?!? Eh, Mr Perrier can you care to explain that please?

Pierre Dom Perrier: You see, given that the maudite vache USA athletes get only a puny USD$25,000 for a gold medal compared to our $1 million, it is inconceivable that we only manage to achieve 2 gold medals while the trou du cul are winning a whole lot more. In fact, it is very shameful, and we have already decided to take punitive actions against the managers and coaches of our Olympic winning teams.

Mark Richman: Wow, that’s a interesting school of thought, to say the least. Mr Perrier, can you share with us then what are the initiatives that our sports council will be taking to improve our chances in the next Olympics?

Pierre Dom Perrier: Très bon, I glad you asked! For starters, instead of wasting money on sports that are dominated by the Caucasians and Africans such as athletics, we will focus on events that the small-framed Singaporeans excel in. In fact, we have already made a formal request to the International Olympic Council to include events such as the Subaru Challenge, the Great Singapore Sale, and Singapore Idol in the 2016 Games, which we will proudly host on Pulau Ubin. Bon appétit!

Mark Richman: That’s great news Mr Perrier!

Pierre Dom Perrier: If you think that’s great, there’s more goodies to come! You are going to find this unbelievable, but we have actually managed to convince Michael Schumacher to come out of retirement and lead our F1 team in the 2016 Olympics!

Mark Richman: Wow, that’s very exiting Sir, but I think F1 is not an Olympic event.

Pierre Dom Perrier: Is it? I ne donnent pas une merde! Haha.

Pierre Dom Perrier: Anyway, you will be excited to know that we have identified the primary reason why we can’t perform at the Olympics: our declining birth rate. The logic is quite simple actually. When you don’t have enough babies, you don’t have enough athletes, and so no Olympic medals. Logique!

Mark Richman: And how do you propose we increase the birth rate, Mr Perrier?

Pierre Dom Perrier: Si simple! We erect more ERP gantries!

Mark Richman: Huh?!?!!!??

Pierre Dom Perrier: Don’t be so shocked Mark, détendre! You see, getting stuck in a traffic is a very stressful event, and stress are known to have an adverse effect on your sperms. And when you are stuck in the jam, it also represents an opportunity lost as you could be spending the time making sweet faire l'amour with your wife or mistress instead. Heh.

Pierre Dom Perrier: So by having more ERP gantries, traffic jams will be reduced, people will be busy making babies, and we will eventually get our Olympic glory!

Mark Richman: Wow, I’m totally convinced by your arguments Mr Perrier. Anyway, it’s time for us to stop our commentary and begin the closing ceremony proper. Thanks a lot for your time, Mr Perrier!

Pierre Dom Perrier: No problem Mark! And to the wonderful audience at home, au revoir, fils de pute!

Mark Richman: And a very warm good bye to you too, Mr cheesepie lanjiao bin! This is Mark Richman, signing out!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The long and short about My Weekend Date

Over the years, I have grow to accept this uncomfortable fact of life: Hot, single, and very desirable Sweet Young Ex-Classmates will only approach me under the following circumstances:

1) When they are trying to sell me insurance.

2) When they are trying to con me into some lame-ass MLM scheme (You can make so much money, Sian :D!).

3) When they are getting married.

I received a call from my ex uni-mate just now, which was nothing short of amazing because she was like the number one hot babe in the faculty, and I was counting my lucky stars when I was randomly picked to be her project mate last time. Despite that, I think I have spoken less than 10 sentences with her sia, heh.

After some idle chatting, she casually asked if I was free this Friday, and I made the fatal mistake of saying ‘YES :D!’. And that is the reason why I will be attending her wedding tomorrow.

I tried to come up with some lame-ass excuse by saying I might cause distress to her guests because I have BO, but she assured me I smell perfectly fine. Oh well. I wonder when will it be my turn to con people into giving me ang pow sia :(

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. By the way what the current market rate for wedding ang pow huh? 5-star downtown hotel, weekend rate :(

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The long and short about The Ex Chao Geng-er

Hello everyone :D!

I have two terrible, terrible confessions for you guys today:

Terrible, Terrible Confession #01:
1) As mentioned, I spent the better half of my morning at the toilet that day after eating the chao sng chee cheong fun. But I am a Man Who Don’t Like To Waste Food, so I ate the remaining chee cheong fun for supper that night.

Ms Tan was not impressed at all when I took a Monday MC.

Terrible, Terrible Confession #02:
2) I have morphed into a Very Hardworking Boy.

Yes, shockingly enough, I have become the model worker in the office. There are so many tasks to do at work, I could hardly find time to pee or go to the pantry. I have even been doing a lot of unpaid OT just to make sure my work is duly completed.

To be perfectly frank, I am very ashamed for degenerating into a Hard Worker because I used to take pride in the fact that I take home good money for just playing Spider Solitaire in the office. But aiyah, a man got to move with the times…. A recession is lurking around the corner, and I sure don’t want to be the one getting the axe.

If my Boss wants to fire anyone, please let it be anyone but me, oh please!!!! I can’t afford to be jobless now because I have a mother to support, a laptop installment plan to service, and because I am still a virgin :(.

What this means is that I will be blogging on a very infrequent basis, like what’s happening for the past few months here, heh. But don’t worry, I still love you all :)!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Sunday, January 13, 2008

The long and short about What I Had For Breakfast

I had chee cheong fun this morning, very nice :D! But I think a bit chao sng, because after that I kept lao sai. Haha.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The long and short about Nothing Much Really

Hello everyone :D!!!!

I know, I know. . . . I haven’t been blogging much! Being the good and obedient boy I am, I am sneaking in an entry now despite the watchful eyes of Ms Tan. For some unknown reason, I have been separated from my usual desk with Nerd, and relocated to a cubicle nearer to her office since the New Year office reno. Walau.

I am blogging in peril because if that woman catches me blogging, that will be the end of me sia. But hey, anything for you guys :)

I shall list down the reasons why I haven’t been blogging:

1) I was busy partying over Christmas and the New Year.
As in, I was playing Mario Party 8.

2) I am too sad to blog because the digits on my weighing scale keeps getting higher and higher.
Which is why I think McDonald’s 24 hr delivery should be banned.

3) I have been very busy watching the latest Art Films on the internet.
Heh heh heh :)

4) I was figuring out how to spend the $2 million I won from Toto.
Then I woke up, walau.

5) It’s fashionable to close your blogs nowadays. Really

It’s so true regarding the last point! Just read Ollie’s blog to see what I mean.

And trust me, when you have a life as boring as mine, there’s really nothing much to blog about really! You guys can’t imagine how difficult it is for me to blog. I will be staring at my monitor for don’t-know-how-long before I give up and go back to my Art Films instead. And the whole cycle repeats over and over again. Very siong I tell you.

It will only be a matter of thing before the only thing I blog about is what I have for breakfast. Serious!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. On a happier sidenote, Nerd brought me to the sibeh atas Lawry’s for candlelight Christmas dinner. He is damn romantic sia :)

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The long and short about Finicky Feline

I am so sibeh sian. One of my favorite bloggers of all time have decided that she does not want to blog anymore :(

Like many, many others, I have faithfully followed the writings of the dear Finicky Feline since a few decades back. I have no idea why but for someone who also lacks a sex life, her life seems so much more interesting than mine. Oh well. My heart is so painful now, I have decided to pen an epic poem to commemorate one of the greatest bloggers of all time:

I Will Miss You, Finicky Feline!

“Oh Finicky Feline, oh Finicky Feline!
I will miss you and your writings, so very, very much!
Your words were so funny, your nickname is so kinky.
Oh Finicky Feline, I will miss you so very, very much!”

-Sibeh Sian
Winter, 2008

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Monday, December 24, 2007

The long and short about Merry Christmas to Everyone :D!

Ho ho ho, Merry Merry Christmas to everyone :D!!!!

I am in a very joyous mood because I am going for a short getaway, which means I don't have to face the evil visage of Ms Tan (yes, she's back in the office). I will also be unable to blog during this period of time, so here's a big 'paiseh' in advanc for the lack of updates, haha :D....

Hope you will be enjoying this Christmas too :)!!!!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The long and short about The Prawn Peeler

I know this is going to make me sound very, very cheapo, but I just had my third free dinner at Ms Tan’s place. Tonight was this stewed tofu with braised duck meat and drunken prawns, yummy yummy yum yum :D!

Unfortunately, I think this is the last time I’m getting my free treat. I know this is going to make me sound very, very ungrateful, but I suspect Ms Tan’s mum is as schizo as her daughter :(

I asked Auntie if I can bring Nerd along, and she sounded so happy over the phone. In fact she was very happy when she was scooping rice for the two of us. Nerd was very happy too, and he started peeling the drunken prawns and fed me. I don’t know why but Auntie’s face turned black when she saw that, and was not that nice to us after that. It was really very scary, I tell you. But we still very buay paiseh and stayed for desserts because the momo-chacha smelled so damn good :)

There goes my free dinners :(

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The long and short about The House Visit

That Ms Tan is truly a world class malingerer. It’s been a whole week since the marathon, but that woman is still on MC due to heat exhaustion. If you ask me, I think she’s just trying to utilize her annual entitlement of medical leave, heh.

Anyway, being the very obedient subordinate that I am, I followed my Boss’ instructions and went to spy on her pay her a house visit. Knowing what kind of person she is, I was seriously apprehensive about the trip because she might serve me poisoned tea. I thus reminded myself not to accept any drinks or cookies (unless she happens to offer me potato chips, which I can’t resist).

I was mentally prepared for all sorts of hostility, and was thus woefully unprepared for what was waiting for me at her place: Her very, very friendly parents.

I have no idea why but Uncle and Auntie was very hospitable to me the moment I stepped into their place till I left. I think they are very extroverted people because if I were them, I would probably just shut myself in my room when my kid’s colleague come for house visits, which was exactly what Ms Tan did.

Although they were very nice folks, their friendliness started to spook me a little when they started asking some very personal questions, such as my dialect group, the composition of my immediate family, and whether if I like babies. Her mum even made me stay for the Hainanese chicken rice that she prepared, which tasted a lot like the ones they sell in kopitiams. I told Auntie her rice was very nice and she was very happy :)

She even told me to come for dinner often since I live nearby, which I politely declined because I am a good boy who do not like to take advantage of people’s hospitality. But since she’s preparing chicken soup, which I absolutely love, I find myself saying ‘ok’ to tomorrow night’s dinner.

So in conclusion, this house visit thingy is really quite a good deal, because I get to go off from work slightly earlier and get a free dinner too. I think I shall bring Nerd with me tomorrow sia :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The long and short about Me & My Suay Mouth

I have a really suay mouth sia.

That Ms Tan, aka master malingerer, has extended her MC by another two days. And for goodness’ sake, it’s really not my armpit ok? The evil woman is suffering from dehydration I think.

The bad news is that my Boss is very concerned about her, and have tasked me to give her a house visit tomorrow after work. He also told me to bring some chicken soup along.

Being the lovely subordinate I am, I will also give her some bottles of expired vintage chicken essence, which was left over from my uni days. I hope she will extend her MC further so I can slack at work get more days to recuperate at home.

I can be a really nice guy when I want to :)!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

The long and short about I Hope It’s Not My Fault!

I am getting a bit worried. Ms Tan has been on two days’ worth of MC already!

Maybe I should be nice and make some chicken soup for her.

. . . . Yah right, not in a million years :D!!!!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Sunday, December 02, 2007

The long and short about My Very Very Long Run

To all you concerned folks out there: I’ve survived :D!!!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I know I have said this before, but I will say this again: I will not, I repeat, will not subject myself to this kind of torture ever again!

My day started horribly enough. Nerd offered to give me a ride all the way to the start point at Esplanade, but being the good friend I am I couldn’t take up his offer because that means the poor boy have to wake up at around 3 plus in the morning. However, I seriously regretted not taking advantage taking up his offer because my cab fare came to a staggering $30!!!!

As if that was not bad enough, the cab driver lost his way and I had to walk quite a distance to the starting line. I needed to pee urgently, but couldn’t because it was so near the start time already, damn. I eventually watered the bushes of Marina South, but I am now sibeh scared that the pics of my manhood will get STOMPed or something. Walau.

Even though I had the minimal of preparation, the completion of the marathon was made possible because of two main reasons:

1) I was mentally prepared of what I going to go through because this was my third marathon.

2) There were a lot, and I mean a lot of sexy girls to see in the marathon.

Man, you should be there to witness for yourself with regards to Point #02. There were toned babes running in the skimpiest of jogging shorts and sport bras, fresh-faced helpers who dished out the 100 Plus, and not forgetting the cheerleaders who went JIA YOU! JIA YOU! when I was panting like an idiot. I wasn’t that enthusiastic about the male cheerleaders though, heh :D

When I was finally reaching the finishing line, I saw someone whom I never thought I will be fated to meet in this marathon. But there was no mistaking the svelte figure in that familiar running attire and that bobbing ponytail tucked neatly in a pink jogging cap.

It was Ms Tan!!!!

Now I must say that usually I don’t exactly feel happy about bumping into her on the streets, but I was very excited because after a long run, you will be so happy to find a familiar face in a sea of strangers. So I called out to her and tried to catch up despite my legs which felt like lead.

She turned around when she heard me, and you wouldn’t believe what happened next: The unfeeling woman actually ignored me and started sprinting towards the finishing line!

I was obviously pissed by her open show of hostility, and thought to myself “Sian, you must show her who is The Man by finishing the race ahead of her.” So I picked up my pace and raced after her with the final ounce of energy that was left in me.

I have to hand it to Ms Tan. Despite being such an evil person she can sure run damn well. But I am not pushover of course, and was inching nearer and nearer until I finally came along side her.

Me: Ms Tan! Wait for me leh!!!!!

Ms Tan: . . . .

Me: Ms Tan, don’t like that leh!!!!

Ms Tan: . . . . Aiyoh just shut up lah you noisy man!!!!!

At that exact moment, Ms Tan lost her balance when some runner bumped into her, and to my horror, came falling towards my direction. Despite her evilness, I couldn’t let a fellow runner fall, and so I stretched my arms wildly with the hope of catching her.

And that was when she fell face-first into my sweaty left armpit.

Oh well.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The long and short about My Marathon Preparation

I will be going for the StanChart Marathon this Sunday (the full one hor, don’t play play), and the following are the preparation I’ve done so far:

1) Exercised daily by taking the stairs instead of using the lift.

2) Maintained a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, and KFC.

3) Bought a new pair of underwear.

4) Jogged religiously on an average of twice weekly once weekly about once every four weeks for the past few four weeks.

5) Worked up a sweat by playing Wii Tennis.

6) Refrained from wanking.

7) Caught Stardust over the weekend.

Being the honest boy I am, I must confess that all the above points are true except for #01. I gave up after a week because seriously, walking up two flights of stairs after a long hard day at work is not very easy. I also realized that Stardust has got nothing to do with the marathon whatsoever, but it was a very, very nice show nonetheless.

I think I am not very prepared for my marathon :(

With Love,
Sibeh Sian