The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The long and short about What I Learnt From Dieting

People, my diet plans for the last few days may not have ended with any pounds shed, but I learned two very, very important and valuable lessons instead:

Lesson #01:
Never ever start a bad habit, no matter how innocent it may seem at that point of time.

For me, it was that single piece of Chicken In A Biscuit that did me in. I thought it was just a bite so it’s not gonna matter, but it did. That single bite led to one whole packet, which in turn led to the McDonald’s, which in turn led to my 3-piece meal at KFC the next day.

I officially announce here that my dieting has ended as a complete disaster.

Lesson #02:
Having two double cheeseburgers with mayonnaise after midnight is damn shiok :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The long and short about Day 2 (+ 3 Hours) Of Diet

I finished one whole packet of Chicken In A Biscuit by myself.

Even though I have Resolves of Steel, I unfortunately also have Fingers of Hunger who naughtily dialed McDonald’s delivery just now.

Then my Mouth of Greed asked for an upsize. Walau.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Monday, September 24, 2007

The long and short about Day 2 Of Diet

That damn chicken on the packet of Chicken In A Biscuit is screaming “Eat me! EAT ME!”, but I shall resist because I have resolves made of Steel.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The long and short about The Things I Do To Look Good

Being a Man of Action, I have decided to take positive steps towards making myself more hamsen and attractive.

I am glad to report here that the heavy rain this morning did not deter me from running, and I did an amazing 100 rounds. Around my HDB flat. (Actually I lost count after 8 rounds, but I’m quite sure it was close to 100 rounds) The even more amazing thing was that I did an impressive 30 push-ups before my run as a warm up. This may not sound like a lot, but I have to remind you that the last time I did push-ups was in BMT. Heh.

I was really sweaty after the run, but being very mindful of my facial condition, I actually used those blotting sheets to ‘de-oil’ my face. Being a very smart boy, I used both sides of the blotter so I can save money, haha. I also took a long bath after that, and even used a moisturizer! I still prefer soap though.

Just in case you are thinking I must have had a very heavy lunch in view of my physical exertions, haha, you are wrong! My tummy is getting really bulgy, so I actually forgo my meals. It was tough, but my resolves are made of Steel. I also went for a 4 hour nap to fight the cruel hunger.

It is now close to midnight, and the only thing I ate was one bao and one cup of milo during dinner just now. I think I shall go sleep soon so I don’t have to feel hungry, haha.

But I have to wait for my mask to be ok first. Being a hamsen boy is very, very difficult.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Friday, September 21, 2007

The long and short about The Match Maker II

KFC Girl showed my picture to her friend, who promptly decided she is not interested in meeting up with me. Walau.

There goes my chance of free KFC!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

The long and short about The Match Maker

I don’t know if this is good news or not, but that Nerd anyhow go and tell his KFC Girl that I am very lonely. So she is going to hook me up with her good friend, who also works at KFC.

I asked her if her friend is good-looking, and she cryptically replied with a “very good looking, as good looking as you”. I am now very confused.

But on the bright side, maybe I’ll get free fried chicken for the rest of my life sia :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Monday, September 17, 2007

The long and short about Happiness

I have decided not to tell Nerd about the secret of KFC Girl.

Ever since Nerd has got together with her, he has been a very happy boy. There’s that extra spring in his steps, that extra sparkle in his eyes, and the way his heart goes thumpy-thump thump every time he’s with her.

As long as he’s happy, I guess that’s all that matters :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The long and short about Why I Am A Winner #46512

Nerd and I decided that we should take a short break and go on a holiday together. We were hoping for a good deal, and thus made our way to Suntec for the NATAS fair over the weekend.

We only realized the fair was not held in Suntec, but in Singapore Expo after we wondered around the place for 10minutes. Walau. We were also approached by this uncle who was doing a bridal exhibition.

What the ?!?!?!?

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Friday, September 14, 2007

The long and short about How To Propose. In A Romantic Way.

A colleague of mine was telling us during tea time how he was planning to propose. He intended to bring his girlfriend shopping over the weekend, and then take her to SK and pick a ring.

Eh, that’s about it.

“Men!” exclaimed Office Bimbo, “Can be the most unromantic of creatures.”

Although Office Bimbo is not known for her intellectual views, I have to admit she does make sense. But being a Man of Action, I am determined to change that perception! Even though I don’t even have a girlfriend, I have brainstormed a list of damn lomantic ways to pop The Question:

1) The Singaporean Technique
As the name suggest, this will only work if you are a Singaporean or PR. It is very simple but effective: all you need to do is to grab her hands, look deep into her eyes, and whisper the words, “Honey, let’s go apply for an HDB flat ok?”. Then you pause dramatically for effect before following with a “At Punggol :)!”.

This method is highly recommended because you are showing your sincerity by committing to a lengthy and expensive purchase with her. After she is done with her tears of joy, you can go into details such as 4 room/5 room, interest rates, and payment periods.

2) The Dramatic Technique
Tell her she can’t say no because you are pregnant.

3) The Wait & Delay Technique
The unique thing about this proposing technique is that you don’t propose at all. In fact, all you need to do is to do nothing, and act noncommittal all the way. Once your girlfriend approaches 30, she will start to panic, and if you are lucky she will be the one proposing instead. You will also get to save on the very expensive proposal ring :)

4) The Food Technique
They say a Singaporean is happiest when they are eating, so it makes sense to propose midway through your meal. In fact, if I were you, I will bring her to McDonald’s. She will be very Happy when she finds a ring in her Happy Meal.

Alternatively, if she doesn’t like Mc’s, you can hide your proposal ring in her plate of char kway teow. She will be most touched by your romantic gesture when she discovers the ring, provided she doesn’t bite too hard and suffer a chipped tooth.

5) The Poetic Technique
This is arguably the most difficult method of them all. To start off, you need to pen a heart-felt poem to show how important she is in your life. The following is an example of a good poem that I came up with myself:

“Oh my darling (insert name of your girlfriend here),
You are such a sweet little honeybee !
I can’t imagine my life without you near me,
So will you please agree to marry me :)?”

After your work of art is completed, send it to a radio station and beg them to broadcast it. When your girlfriend (and all her friends) hears it, she will be so touched she will love you forever. I think. And don't worry too much if the radio stations reject your request, because you can still broadcast your love with a loud hailer in Orchard.

I think I can be quite romantic when I want to. Heh :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The long and short about The Busy 小弟

Just in case you guys are wondering, Sushi Eating Friend is attached. And not to me. That’s the reason why I didn’t want her to know that I was the one getting the congee. But that is not important because the really important thing is that she enjoyed the congee (I hope), and that is all that matters.

By the way the congee seller called me 小弟. I feel so young sia :)

Time to get back to my piles of work now.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Monday, September 10, 2007

The long and short about The Congee Eating Friend

Being the very good friend I am, I made up my mind to tell Nerd about his KFC Girl.

But based on his responses the other day, I reckon I will need some hard evidence first. From what I remember of KFC Girl’s Friendster photos, she and her ah beng boyfriend always seems to hang out at West Mall, so I armed myself with my trusty digicam and headed there after work last week.

I did bump into someone familiar, but it was not KFC Girl.

It was Sushi Eating Friend’s Mum. And Sushi Eating Friend was in the hospital.

It turns out that the poor girl is down with dengue. I recalled Sushi Eating Friend once mentioning about this Changi stall that serves the best congee ever, and if she ever stays in a hospital that will be the only thing she wants to eat.

I have no idea why, but the next thing I know I was on the cab to Changi.

It’s a good thing she has been discharged already, because I bet she was sick of congee after three days worth of it. Heh. I just hope she never quizzed her mum why she was so free to get congee for her everyday sia.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. I just realized I totally forgot about getting the evidence for Nerd :(

Sunday, September 09, 2007

The long and short about My Calling In Life

Really sorry folks, couldn’t blog the past few days because I was taking care of Sushi Eating Friend.

Eh, more on that next time!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The long and short about No Evidence Already

Holy Macaroni!

I tried to view KFC Girl’s Friendster account just now, but discovered that it’s now accessible to friends only. And her profile pic is not the couple shot with her ah beng boyfriend already!

Like this how to show Nerd?!?!?!?!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. Eh, just in case you are reading this, eh, KFC Girl, I’m not talking about you for the past few entries! Really!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The long and short about The Bearer Of Bad News III

Being the Sensitive Man I am, I decided to tell Nerd about his not-so-homely KFC Girl through some very subtle means:

1) I asked Nerd what does he think of girls who profess to love KFC, but also eats McDonald’s when no one is looking.
Nerd says that is perfectly ok. Damn, my analogy is lousy not very good.

2) I told Nerd that one of my friend’s girlfriend is two-timing him, and I don’t know what to tell him
That nerd told me that in this kind of situation, it is better to do nothing because True Love will take its course. WTH?!?!?

3) I asked Nerd what would he do if his KFC Girl is two-timing him.
His reply: “LOL! That will never happen :D!”

I was racking my brains for some better ways to hint him when he came over to my desk just now.

Nerd: Eh Mr Sian, were you trying to tell me something this morning?

Me: . . . . Nerd, you have to listen very carefully to what I am going to tell you now. *proceeds to hold him by the shoulders*

Me: . . . . Girls, you can’t trust them too much because they might end up breaking your heart ok?

Me: But guys are different! I will always be around here when you need me ok?

Nerd: . . . . Oh Mr Sian, you are so nice to me! *proceeds to give me a tight brotherly hug*

I have no idea why but Ms Tan chose that exact moment to enter our cubicle. She left without saying a word, but she looked very, very disturbed.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Saturday, September 01, 2007

The long and short about The Bearer Of Bad News II

I have not told Nerd about what I saw that day. Yet.

The main reason for my non action is because I don’t want to make that mistake I made last time with Ms Tan and her dad. So instead of real office work, I did a lot of detective work for the past two days instead. Being a very Clever Boy, I managed to worm out KFC Girl’s email account from Nerd, and after several tries and a lucky guess later, I finally managed to discover her Friendster account just now.

I was to be utterly shocked because her status shows she is married!

Ok ok, I think that the ‘married’ status is probably just a misnomer because she’s only 20 this year. A quick check through her photo gallery though, confirms that the guy I saw holding her hands that day is her boyfriend. After going through her testimonials I also realized they have been together for 8 months already.

I have no idea what I should do now. Being the coward the sensitive guy I am, I am also toying with the idea of passing the role of bad news bearer to Office Bimbo.

But whatever it is, I think I better act fast because Nerd just cheerily told me the other day that his dad knows the Tiffany people and can get a discount.

See lah that Nerd, that time I told him not to eat too much KFC already.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian