The long and short about Friends

Despite their busy schedules, Nerd and Office Bimbo was crazy kind enough to drag me off for a movie just now. For some unknown reason they thought I needed some cheering up. Oh well.

Anyway, I give Blades of Glory my two thumbs-up. If nothing goes wrong, it should win the Best Picture in the coming Oscars. The whole show was so inspiring I think I will pick up figure-skating as a new hobby.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. Nerd dropped a bombshell of a news to us after the show: he is applying for a position in our company.

I hope he is not stalking me or something sia.

The long and short about Random Stuff

Hello everyone!

Sorry for the lack of entries the past few days. Don’t worry, I didn’t do anything silly, haha. In fact, I am feeling perfectly fine! Really! I am very happy. Haha.

Anyway, I have no idea why but I’m not exactly in the mood to blog. I think I’ll just talk about some random events that have happened in my life recently:


1) I had the Shrek meal for lunch yesterday.
It was very nice.

2) I had KFC for dinner after that.
It was very nice too.

3) I had diarrhea that night.
It was not very nice.

4) Added The Mosquito into my collection of very, very thought-provoking poems.

5) Added The Charity Show into my collection of very, very bor liao spoof entries.

6) I am closing my blog
As in, I’m closing down my Happy Office Boy blog. The reason is because stoopid Blogger requires a Google account or something for each Blogger account, and I’m too lazy to set up another. Oh well.

7) I wish to wish Sushi Eating Friend happiness
Just in case you are wondering, it’s a confirmed, guaranteed ‘Yes’ that Sushi Eating Friend is now attached. I say this with certainty because she was the one who introduced me to The Boyfriend that night at the sushi bar.

I hope that he, being the luckiest guy in the world, will make my friend the happiest girl in the world.


I think I am going to stop here. Because words fail me now.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Sushi Bar III

Just in case you are wondering, it was Sushi Eating Friend I bumped into the other night at the sushi bar.

But I didn’t exactly had sushi that night because I ended up making a detour to KFC. I didn’t want to disturb her and her boyfriend.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Mosquito

I realized it’s been ages since I last wrote a poem, so here’s one:


The Mosquito

Oei! You stupid mosquito!
Stop sucking me like there’s no tomorrow!
You can’t keep still when I try to hit you,
But when I do, I’ll make mincemeat out of you.

You are ugly, and your legs are very hairy.
I know that because I last time took biology.
You spread dengue, and also HIV.
The latter is not true, but it rhymes very nicely.

The other day when I went to the zoo,
You happily bite me when I was in the loo.
I have no idea why you are such a fool,
Because really very smelly, my freshly made poo poo.

I have decided to wage war on you.
You better get ready to escape on cue.
When I see you, I’ll move in for the kill.
The pain you feel will be very real :)

Oei! You stupid mosquito!
Stop sucking me like there’s no tomorrow!
Please keep still when I try to hit you,
And when I do, I’ll make mincemeat out of you.

-Sibeh Sian
Summer, 2007

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Sushi Bar II

I have no idea why, but out of impulse I went to the sushi bar for dinner just now.

And then my eyes met hers.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about That Jay Chou Song

Midway through another Wii party the other night, Office Bimbo complained that we are getting unhealthy because of all the computer games, and proposed that we do something sporty over the weekend instead.

So we ended up singing karaoke.

I hate to say this, but despite being a very nice guy, Nerd can’t sing to save his ass. I also suspect he still hasn’t got over his Heartless Girl because all he sang that night was sappy love songs by Jay Chou for the broken hearted. Which was all fine and dandy until Office Bimbo, whom I suspect still hasn’t got over her SLK-Driving Ex-Boyfriend, started getting all emo over some lyrics:


我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里待續


“That’s bullshit!” so claimed Office Bimbo. “How can he say it’s nobody’s fault when a relationship ends?!?!?”

Once in a while Office Bimbo will actually say something that makes a lot of sense, and this happens to be one such occasion. I was so inspired I’ve taken the liberty of changing some of the lyrics:


我知道你我都犯了错
渐渐忘了怎么退后
信誓旦旦给的承诺
已被时间扑了空
我知道你我都犯了错
也许放手会比较好过
最美的爱情回忆里待續


Oh well.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Hunter & The Hunted IV

I really, really didn’t want to blog about my traumatic experience that night. But since you guys so sadistically insisted, I shall oblige you all and recount that horrifying evening.

………………………………………………


I knew my brilliant idea of humiliating Ms Tan through my Wii Wii was not a very brilliant idea the moment she reached my place. When I returned from the kitchen with a drink for her, I was totally unprepared for what I was about to see.

Ms Tan was stripping her top off in front of me.

Fortunately, it was her jacket that she removed and not her blouse, haha. I also thought she looked hot, because I didn’t switch on the fan for her (I was trying to save on electricity bills).

But more shock was in store for me: without any warning, she pulled out a Wiimote from her handbag and said, “Sian, I am going to punish you with this.”





After uttering those ominous words, she proceeded to swing the white, hard, and vibrating controller that was pulsating with blue lights deftly in Wii Tennis. She attacked me with such ferocity and sadistic fervour I swore she was like Serena Williams on steroids.





After thoroughly humiliating me at Tennis, I decided to try my luck on boxing. Bad mistake, because Ms Tan intimidated me by first ramming her Wiimote hard into my Nunchuk. I felt very violated, and told her to be more gentle but she ignored me and shouted “SHUT UP AND PLAY!”

Thoroughly rattled, I couldn’t put up any meaningful resistance, and was subjected to her relentless pounding for the next ten or so minutes. By the time she was finished, my butt was very, very sore, because I was fidgeting too much on the sofa.

Just when I thought my ordeal was ending, I was in for another round of pain when the sick woman loaded baseball. I tried pitching my balls in, but not a single one got through because she batted all of them out. In fact, she was hitting my balls left, right, center and so hard she even scored homeruns. I think Ms Tan is very, very good in hitting balls.

Needless to say, I was exhausted at the end of the horrifying ordeal. Because I was twiddling with the Nunchuk pointer too furiously, I even developed and burst a blister on my left thumb. Trust me, it was really, really painful. Even got a bit of blood come out, which made me very scared and I didn’t dare to tell my mum.

I don’t think I want to be Ms Tan’s playmate anymore.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Hunter & The Hunted III

I am very sorry to inform you guys that I am not really in the mood to blog now. Suffice to say, I was severely traumatized by what happened last night.

I never imagined it will be so painful :(


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Hunter & The Hunted II

Updated!


I have changed my mind about not letting Ms Tan touch my Wii Wii.

While having nasi lemak this morning, I was hit with this brilliant idea: I could use my Wii Wii to humiliate the evil Ms Tan! I am not a hao lian, but I’m proud to say here that I’ve became quite the pro at Wii Sports Tennis. In fact, I’m so good I have been whacking Nerd’s butt left right and center, heh.

If I managed to whack Ms Tan’s butt too, then maybe she will show more respect to me in the office. With this brilliant idea in mind, I approached her this afternoon and popped the question.


Me: Hi Ms Tan! Do you want to come over to my place and play with my Wii tomorrow?

Ms Tan: You want me to go to your place and play with your what?!?!?!?!

Me: My Wii! My Wii Wii! I’ve been having lots of fun with it and I think I will be very happy if you come play with it :D!

Ms Tan: Oh. You meant the Nintendo thingy.

Ms Tan: Ok.


I told Nerd and Office Bimbo about my invite to Ms Tan, and they are so excited they will be coming along too. It’s going to be such a fun night :D!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

Update:

Holy Macaroni. Nerd needs to attend a family dinner tonight, while Office Bimbo just told me she is giving our Wii party a miss because after thinking about it, she is not very uncomfortable about playing with Ms Tan.

Which means it’s gonna be Ms Tan and me alone tonight. I am very, very worried :(

The long and short about Sibeh Attractive Men

Being good friends with Office Bimbo has its perks. Me and Nerd have been lamenting about the sorry state of our love life (not with each other) in between our Wii sessions, and she has graciously came up with some tips on how we can transform into Sibeh Attractive Men instead. And the best thing is these tips don’t involve anything about striking lotteries or undergoing plastic surgeries!

As I am a Sibeh Unselfish Man, I shall generously share the tips with you:


Tip #01: Get a Tattoo
The reason for this is very simple. Girls like bad boys, and boys with tattoos are bad. Or something like that. I also hit upon this utterly brilliant idea of tattooing muscles on my arms and a nice six-pack on my stomach, which will make me look very macho.

But I think I will have to give up the idea because my Mum went ballistic when I told her this idea half-way through our Mother’s Day lunch. She claims that if I get an ‘ang kong’ I will become a gangster, take up drugs, and start World War Three. Walau.

Tip #02: Take Up an Extreme Sport
Office Bimbo says girls are attracted to dangerous men like bees to honey, so we will up our attractiveness quotient if we do dangerous sports.

This is a very good idea. I shall start jaywalking tomorrow.

Tip #03: Pick Up a Third Language
Office Bimbo claims she goes weak in the knees every time an ang mo speaks French. According to her, foreign languages sound very exotic, and thus very attractive.

Nerd and I decided that French is too complicated for us, so we will pick up Japanese instead. We will start by swooping our excellent collection of Japanese artistic films.

Tip #04: Start a Blog
According to Office Bimbo, bloggers are damn happening people. Except for half-past-six bloggers like me, who writes a Happy Office Boy blog that has lousy content and haven’t been updated in months.

Her point being, if you write damn bloody well, you will become a celebrity blogger with lots of endorsements, fame, and rabid fans who are dying to bed you. I swear this is totally untrue. The only indecent proposal I have had so far was this spammer who tried to sell me something to enhance my ‘ahem’.

Tip #05: Learn How To Sweet Talk
This tip left me mystified. I have absolutely no idea how learning about the bubble tea brand will make me more attractive.


I hope Office Bimbo’s tips work. I really don’t want to become a 29 year old virgin.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Hunter & The Hunted

I decided to jog this morning instead of my usual Sunday evenings because I don’t want to bump into Ms Tan at the tracks again.

I was thus very, very disturbed when I saw her doing sit-ups at the side when I was completing my second round. I’m not suggesting anything, but this is the kind of stuff that always happens in those stalker movies.

I worry for my virginity :(


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about My Miis

I am so sleepy right now. After Nerd and Office Bimbo left last night, I actually had another few more rounds of tennis before I finally slept way past midnight. I feel like taking a half-day leave to rest, but I have this bad feeling I will end up playing Wii Sports again. Damn.

One of the best things about the Wii is that you can create computerized versions of yourself, known as the Mii. If you are curious how I look like, here’s a pic:





This is Nerd. I have no idea why my colleagues say we look alike.




This is Office Bimbo. I have no idea why but she actually likes the title of bimbo because she say it means she is chio. Walau.




Being the nice people we are, we even created one Mii for Ms Tan. We had a really, really fun time punching her in Boxing last night, heh.




Speaking of Ms Tan, we were unfortunately enough to bump into her last night. The even more unfortunate thing was that when she asked us what we were doing so late in the night, Office Bimbo happily chirped “We just had a threesome :D!”

That stoopid Bimbo. Everyone is now casting us weird looks in the office.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about My Wii Wii II

Updated!


I wanted to clear up the misunderstanding with Sushi Eating Friend, but I guess that’s only possible next week because she just went on an overseas assignment. Sigh.

Anyway, this is unexpected, but I have been rather chummy with Office Bimbo ever since our Phantom of the Opera date. So I popped the same question to her just now.


Me: Oei! Do you want to come over to my place and play with my Wii tonight?

Office Bimbo: You want me to go to your place and play with your what?!?!?!?!

Me: My Wii! My Wii Wii! I’ve been having lots of fun with it and I think I will be very happy if you come and play with it :D!

Office Bimbo: . . . . You are a very naughty boy, Sian.

Office Bimbo: But let’s have dinner first k?


I told Nerd about my invite to Office Bimbo, and he is so excited he will be coming along too. We are going to have so much fun tonight :D!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian


Update:

1) I just saw Nerd and Office Bimbo off. Needless to say, the three of us are exhausted right now, after all the wild swinging and thrusting.

2) We bumped into Ms Tan while exiting from the lift. She looked very, very disturbed.

The long and short about My Wii Wii

This is a public announcement service: Do not, I repeat, Do Not get a Wii. Unless you want lots of fun and is prepared to get nerdified.

The damn thing is so damn addictive I practically burned my weekend with it. My shoulders and right arm is aching badly from the millions of swings I took, and I was also very, very worried that my sofa was going to give way because Nerd and I shook really vigorously on it.

It was so fun I thought it will be a good way to revive my friendship with Sushi Eating Friend, so I gave her a call last night.


Sushi Eating Friend: . . . . Yes Sian, what do you want?

Me: Oh! I was thinking if you want to come over to my place and play with my Wii.

Sushi Eating Friend: You want me to go to your place and play with your what?!?!?!?!

Me: My Wii! My Wii Wii! I’ve been having lots of fun with it and I will be very happy if you come and play with it :D!

Sushi Eating Friend: . . . . Stay away from me you sick freak.


I have no idea what made Sushi Eating Friend so pissed :(


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Sporty Boy

I am very proud to announce here that I am now a very sporty boy.

In the span of an afternoon, I have played tennis, baseball, golf, bowling and boxing, with Nerd as my sparring partner. Our arms are now aching badly after all the physical exertions, but we can’t wait to do it again tomorrow.

Wii are such sporty boys :)


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Why It Sucks When Your Superior Lives Near You #056865

Ms Tan: Why were you on MC yesterday?

Me: Oh! I was having a bad sore throat! Haha. . . .

Ms Tan: Is it? Sore throat huh?

Ms Tan: Sore throat can go and queue up for KFC meh?


Maybe I should consider moving.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about This Nice, Rainy Morning

I’ve decided to call in sick for work today because it’s a nice rainy morning and I want to get better acquainted with my bed. Heh.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian