The long and short about April Fools’ Day

I realized why Office Bimbo gave me the free ticket.

Throughout the show, she was rather fidgety and kept looking around us. I initially thought it was because her dress was too tight or something, then it occurred to me that she was looking out for someone. That someone turned out to be her SLK-Driving Ex-Boyfriend, whom we bumped into after the show ended.


Office Bimbo: Hi J***! So surprised to see you here!

Office Bimbo: Anyway, this is Sian, my new boyfriend.

Me: Huh?!?!? Oh! Eh, hello, I think we met before! By the way that Phantom fella looks like Sailor Moon’s boyfriend sia, hahahaha. . . .

SLK-Driving Ex-Boyfriend: Ok. Hi.

SLK-Driving Ex-Boyfriend: Sorry to cut the chat short, but my date is waiting for me. (Turned away to join up with a stunning babe who has an even more formidable chest that Office Bimbo’s)


Office Bimbo didn’t seemed too happy during the cab ride back home, so we just sat at the back of the taxi lost in our thoughts. She was probably thinking about the Ex Boyfriend, while the less sentimental me was thinking about what to have for supper.

Then she broke the silence.


Office Bimbo: I’m sorry Sian.

Office Bimbo: I heard he’s coming for the show tonight, and I wanted to prove him wrong when he said I couldn’t get another guy when we broke up last time.

Me: It’s alright, I’m used to getting used and abused, haha. . . .

Me: Jokes aside, you didn’t really have to prove anything you know? I mean, other than making babies, women don’t really need men.

Me: And we are made all the more redundant after they invented vibrators, haha.

Office Bimbo: . . . . Thanks Sian.


We sat in silence for a while more before she broke the silence again.


Office Bimbo: Sian, are you gay?

Me: HUH?!?!?!

Office Bimbo: I mean, you were really chummy with Nerd when he was interning with us, and I don’t think you have any female friends.

Me: . . . . Well, just because I’m chummy with Nerd doesn’t mean we’re gay ok? Besides, I noticed gays actually have lots of female friends. Heh.

Me: Anyway, I do have a very close female friend, but we’ve not spoken to each other for quite some time because of some misunderstandings.

Office Bimbo: What kind of misunderstandings? If you are a man, you should do something about it. Right now. Give her a call or something!


I thought Office Bimbo actually made a lot of sense, so I dialled Sushi Eating Friend’s number. There was no response so I sent a message instead:


Hey, I have no idea why but I kind of miss you. By quite a bit. Wanna meet up at the sushi bar some day? And a happy April Fool’s Day to you, haha. . . .


I only received her reply the next morning, which went like this:


Thanks. In fact, I had a very enjoyable April Fool’s because I was watching Phantom of The Opera. I think you must had a fun time too because you were sitting just a few rows in front of me. Cheers.


And that’s the long and short about the many fools on April Fools’ Day.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian