The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Monday, May 14, 2007

The long and short about Sibeh Attractive Men



Being good friends with Office Bimbo has its perks. Me and Nerd have been lamenting about the sorry state of our love life (not with each other) in between our Wii sessions, and she has graciously came up with some tips on how we can transform into Sibeh Attractive Men instead. And the best thing is these tips don’t involve anything about striking lotteries or undergoing plastic surgeries!

As I am a Sibeh Unselfish Man, I shall generously share the tips with you:


Tip #01: Get a Tattoo
The reason for this is very simple. Girls like bad boys, and boys with tattoos are bad. Or something like that. I also hit upon this utterly brilliant idea of tattooing muscles on my arms and a nice six-pack on my stomach, which will make me look very macho.

But I think I will have to give up the idea because my Mum went ballistic when I told her this idea half-way through our Mother’s Day lunch. She claims that if I get an ‘ang kong’ I will become a gangster, take up drugs, and start World War Three. Walau.

Tip #02: Take Up an Extreme Sport
Office Bimbo says girls are attracted to dangerous men like bees to honey, so we will up our attractiveness quotient if we do dangerous sports.

This is a very good idea. I shall start jaywalking tomorrow.

Tip #03: Pick Up a Third Language
Office Bimbo claims she goes weak in the knees every time an ang mo speaks French. According to her, foreign languages sound very exotic, and thus very attractive.

Nerd and I decided that French is too complicated for us, so we will pick up Japanese instead. We will start by swooping our excellent collection of Japanese artistic films.

Tip #04: Start a Blog
According to Office Bimbo, bloggers are damn happening people. Except for half-past-six bloggers like me, who writes a Happy Office Boy blog that has lousy content and haven’t been updated in months.

Her point being, if you write damn bloody well, you will become a celebrity blogger with lots of endorsements, fame, and rabid fans who are dying to bed you. I swear this is totally untrue. The only indecent proposal I have had so far was this spammer who tried to sell me something to enhance my ‘ahem’.

Tip #05: Learn How To Sweet Talk
This tip left me mystified. I have absolutely no idea how learning about the bubble tea brand will make me more attractive.


I hope Office Bimbo’s tips work. I really don’t want to become a 29 year old virgin.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

21 Comments:

  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 10:31:00 AM, Blogger Grace said…

    Such insight! Who would have known?!?! You should offer to write a book with Office Bimbo on the topic.

    I also think spikey dyed (preferably in blue, green or yellow) hair, and a thick gold chain around your neck (see if Toys R Us have a not) will make you look sibeh attractive.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 12:48:00 PM, Blogger aini said…

    i tink your office bimbo is an ah lian.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 2:48:00 PM, Blogger OLLie said…

    SBS. Extreme sport meaning bungee jumping or something along that lines. Not jaywalking can!?

    Wah lau. You just made the people in the resource room think that there's a nutty girl around who's laughing like mad.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 5:32:00 PM, Blogger Coconutger85 said…

    You won't be a 29 year old virgin, SBS. There's always Ms. Tan. Jing Shui Lou Tai, you know. *winks

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 7:22:00 PM, Blogger JayWalk said…

    Ollie: Tmd.... who say JayWalking not extreme sport!!??

    SBS: JayWalking is on most Mondays to Fridays. Check my blog for details.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 8:42:00 PM, Blogger ling(: said…

    LOL i just love all your posts! (: in fact i read all your archives today in 1 hr. :D

    you're sibeh funny (:

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 8:51:00 PM, Blogger imnothere said…

    Solution

    1. Ever heard of fake tattoo? washable ones? otherwise make friend with someone who is good with permanent markers.

    2. You have your "wii wii", so buy your "Xtreme Snowboarding" and cosplay around.

    3. "Ya-me-de" is not cool, try http://www.worldlingo.com/wl/translate those words into German, or Italian.

    4. Don't expect to attract girls on blog, unless you want to romance your girl/boy only on cyberspace, for the rest of your life. I am sure emoticon is very romantic... but...

    5. Put some sugar in your mouth, Wiggly's Chewygum might do in a pinch, before you start talking to girls.

    6. Since your luck is so sibeh suay anyway, do you believe in reincarnation?

    7. Adrenaline is perfect for assisting #6.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 11:15:00 PM, Blogger Adrenaline said…

    oh, i absolutely love guys with tattoo. yeah, it's the bad boy thingy that juz makes these guys so irresistible.

    i think u should get a tatto of Hello Kitty on your arm. it would make u look very macho.

    i also hope u lose your virginity soon; cos u're so frequently left out during our gatherings' conversations.

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 11:19:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Grace: I also cannot dye my hair, my ma will scold one! Heh.

    Aini: She told me she is lian and proud of it. Heh.

    Ollie: Must laugh! Laugh more! Laugh is very good :D!

    Coconutger85: No! NOoooooooooOOO!!!!

    Jaywalk: It is a sibeh extreme sport! You are the grandmaster some more sia, haha....

    Ling: Thanks thanks! All the archives in 1 hour?!?!? You is sibeh fast reader :D

    Imnothere: Cannot use fake tattoo, my ma will also scold one! Really!

     
  • At Monday, May 14, 2007 11:21:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Adrenaline: Hello Kitty is like so not macho ok? I'm thinking more of Teletubbies.

    And I feel so ostracized when we take Yang's car because I am the only virgin in the car. Walau.

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:10:00 AM, Blogger eileen` said…

    eh, sweet talk is very nice!

    but do you know that *gasps! one pearl contains 60 calories?

    abolish pearls, just drink the tea.

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 4:47:00 AM, Blogger imnothere said…

    how about try to learn a skill - such as guitar. as long as you don't try to sing, of course.

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:21:00 AM, Blogger Rainie said…

    sticker tattoos are available ma... :) can last for a week, if you don't scrub it off.

    try jaywalking on the expressway, that's extreme Xtreme sport, heh!

    how about asking OB to be your image consultant and do your makeover?
    maybe you can attract some cute ah lian friend of hers... =)

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:03:00 AM, Blogger imnothere said…

    i have had experience in jaywalking in malaysia.

    it is not extreme sport, it is suicide. unless you want to fulfill #6, of course.

    for xtreme sport, try jogging with Ms Tan.

    you know you want it ;-)

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 11:15:00 AM, Blogger Coconutger85 said…

    bohemian is in fashion. go get henna, so chic, I mean manly.

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 12:13:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Eileen: 60 calories?!?!?! My goodness. Sibeh heng I never eat one. But Sushi Eating Friend loves the pearls sia.

    Imnothere: Oei! I sing very well one ok? Haha....

    Rainie: My ma will still scold one! Unless I hide one on my butt :)

    Imnothere: It's not extreme sports when I jog with Ms Tan. It's extreme torture!

    Coconutger85: Very manly huh? Ok, then I consider :)

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 2:47:00 PM, Blogger jessica quek sze cheah said…

    haha.. Sibeh Sian.. dun worry, if you really 29-year-old virgin, i offer you a free trip to the new food haven that singapore is promoting with all the hotels in the area.. cheap cheap, plus if you can speak chinese well, i think they don't mind giving you good price. for a virgin, there's also free red packet to take! where to find?

    For more info, please visit


    G ood
    E Eating
    Y ummy
    L ovely
    A sians
    N ear
    G eylang!

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 8:44:00 PM, Blogger ling(: said…

    Haha yes.
    Speed reading is my talent. :D
    & it doesn't hurt to have EL as my best subject too. :D & Hokkien vulgarities as my best language. :D

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:48:00 PM, Blogger Cindy said…

    oh my god!! one pearl has 60 calories??!!?

     
  • At Tuesday, May 15, 2007 10:12:00 PM, Blogger Jinkang said…

    Japanese Artistic Films?

    Hentai?
    Yaoi?

    LoL.

     
  • At Wednesday, May 16, 2007 1:03:00 AM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Jessica: Cannot go Geylang one! My ma will nto only scold me, she will cane me too!

    Ling: Very very the powderful :D! Haha.... My Hokkien C6 only sia!

    Cindy: Exactly! I have no idea why they like to use them as jewellry!

    Jinkang: Arttistic films, very artistic!

     

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