The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The long and short about The Oprah Interview



Oprah Winner: Good evening everyone. Hello and welcome to The Oprah Winner Show.

Oprah: Tonight, we have with us in the studio a very special guest. A big round of applause for Mr Sibeh Sian please.

Sibeh Sian: Haha, hello everyone! I am Sibeh Sian, hahahaha. . . .

Oprah: I hope you are comfortably settled on the couch, Mr Sian. Now tell us: how does it feel to be a 28-year-old virgin?

Sian: Actually, my birthday is still a week away, so technically speaking I am still a 27-year-old virgin, haha. . . . Anyway, I don’t feel any different from non-virgins even though I am a virgin. I think. Actually that is not very accurate because I don’t know how a non-virgin would feel like because I am not a non-virgin, haha. . . .

Oprah: Fine. But knowing that men are biologically wired to sow their seeds around, do you feel deprived?

Sian: To be very honest, I don’t really feel deprived because there are so much more to life than sex, such as TV and Chinese Chess over the internet, haha. . . .

Oprah: . . . . Right.

Oprah: Anyway, the reason why we invited you to the show is because we understand you are in a situation right now. Your good friend might possibly get back into a relationship with a jerk who has hurt her before and who might possibly do so again. And you are sitting around and doing nothing. What kind of a man are you, Mr Sian?

Sian: . . . . I am a Man of Action.

Sian: I have thought it over, and have decided that I am not going to sit on my butt and whine. In fact, I am going to be proactive, and put a decisive stop to Mr Ex Boyfriend’s evil plans.

Oprah: Wow, that is quite a surprise. Do you mind telling us what you have in mind, Mr Sian?

Sian: I am going to find a bunch of Ah Bengs to beat Mr Ex Boyfriend up so he can’t go to the concert.

Sian: But since I have no Ah Beng friends, I have to make do with Plan B: I am having dinner with Sushi Eating Friend on Friday night, and I am going to tell her that she shouldn’t go to the concert with Mr Ex Boyfriend because he is a jerk and he has herpes.

Oprah: That is very smart! I think you are a very clever boy, Mr Sian. However, I understand you also have two tickets to the Ono Lisa concert that you have kept stuffed in your pockets since your trip to the airport.

Sian: Oh! Those tickets! They can’t be used now. My mum threw my pants into the washing machine, and they are now in crumbs.

Sian: Haha, I was just kidding. I have not figured out what to do with the tickets yet.

Oprah: Fine, Mr Sian, I respect your non-decision. I think it would be a bad idea too to pass her the concert tickets now, because that might add to her emotional confusion.

Sian: I am so glad you agree with my non-decision!

Oprah: Yes indeed. By the way, since you are not going to the concert, can you give me your tickets please? I am quite a fan of Ono.

Sian: No problem. $1000 per ticket please.

Oprah: You go hong gan lah you.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

15 Comments:

  • At Thursday, October 19, 2006 11:33:00 PM, Blogger SaltPop. said…

    Well, err. Wow, very innovative. What emotional confusion? You're finally owning up?

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 12:19:00 AM, Blogger Evolna said…

    Aiya.Oprah will be very sian to interview u.Do something surprising such as proclaiming your love for sef lah.Aiyo

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 12:28:00 AM, Blogger Muses of A Trivial Traveller said…

    So you do like your that Sushi Eating friend lah!!!!

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 12:47:00 AM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    To all: This entry is by no means a confession of my feelings for Sushi Eating Friend, because I have absolutely nothing to confess. Really. She is just a friend! I think. Haha.

    Saltpop / Evolna / MOATT: There is no love! Really. Mei you. Arimasen. Zilch.

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 1:10:00 AM, Blogger wateverlar said…

    errmm... found ur blog through yanz.. ermm... u sure bo? like tat still dun like.. Think u really can be a 99 yr old virgin(not by choice) Do something abt it. Tell her.. at least u tried something.. challenge her ex with ur tix. Haha. Chances is that she will go with you la. Coz i think the ex bf is more detestable. hehe

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 1:12:00 AM, Blogger wateverlar said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 1:19:00 AM, Blogger Jj said…

    LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!

    hahaha..totally brighten up my midnight..

    that was very entertaining, sian you rock man.

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 4:51:00 AM, Blogger bochup said…

    wa rau you wrote another post just to elaorate on your non-decision and non-action?

    zzzz....

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 7:16:00 AM, Blogger imnothere said…

    meant to be annoyed at your indecisiveness, but laughed after reading your replies instead.

    seriously, maybe don't bluntly tell your SEF what to do, or else she will be SE-ExF. just tell her to truth about the ticket, or else sell off the $300 tickets...

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 9:49:00 AM, Blogger Green Ogre said…

    You should just marry Sushi Eating Friend to end her confusion and your indecision.

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 12:02:00 PM, Blogger sÞ¡ηηєє said…

    i hate ur creativity!

    *can't stop laughing*

    when oprah winner going to interview me?

    happy birthday in adv..

     
  • At Friday, October 20, 2006 12:56:00 PM, Blogger char_bo_lang said…

    sibeh sian,
    find us lah, old beng has his
    (in)famous eagle and tiger, I have my famous R..O..A..RR...R, we help you ward off Mr Ex-Boyfriend hoe boh??

    er...no need to pay us any service charge lah, just blangja us and our twelve little ones to a treat at Swensen ok liao loh! On boh ??

     
  • At Saturday, October 21, 2006 6:17:00 PM, Blogger akira-rae said…

    wakakakaka~!

    hello, i was bored out of my wits, so out of total boh liao-ness, i typed in "aiyo, sibeh sian arh..." and i stumbled upon your site~!

    i like your writing style, very funny leh.

    i'm gonna drop by from now on, can?

     
  • At Sunday, October 22, 2006 4:34:00 AM, Blogger alien73 said…

    Hurray! A 28 year old virgin! That's an accomplishment on its own! Tell SEF that you've been savin yourself for her. She wouldn't give you a slap for that, right?

     
  • At Saturday, October 28, 2006 2:44:00 AM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Wateverlar: Oh trust me, I don't want to be a 99 yr old virign. Heh.

    JJ: Thank you you wor! Haha. But I can't rock and roll, haha....

    Grace: I am a decisive man of indecisiveness :)

    Imnothere: haha, it wasn't $300, but rather $120 lah, haha....

    Green Ogre: Sounds like a plan, but that sounds like a tough decision also leh. Heh.

    Spinnee: Interview sessions can be arranged at $1000 per pop. But since you are so nice with the birthday wish, a mere $888 will do :)

    CBL: WAH :D! CBL coment here, very touched :) But no free treat at Swensen's because I am sibeh giam siap too, haha :)

    Akira-rae: Amazing! Haha, it's amazing what sort of rubbish you can find on the internet hor ;)

    Aileen: To be frank, she always slaps my back and some times on ack of my head too. Heh.

     

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