The long and short about Porn
Updated!
Warning:
This is an RA post. You have been warned. Heh.
I am not trying advocate anything here, but one of the topics that came up during my late night chats with Nerd at this place, was on porn.
After some profound discussion, we arrived at the following conclusions:
1) It pays to be buck-ugly
Except for some rare exceptions, the male leads in Jap porn are more often than not pimply, wrinkly, and buck-ugly. I am thus seriously considering migrating to Japan.
2) An epilator is one of the best gifts you can give to a female friend
Let’s not go into details here.
3) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to have fanciful movie titles
Some of the more ‘imaginative’ titles we came across include ‘Beauty & The Beast Vol.8’, ‘Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outcum’, and ‘Apprentice: You are F*****!’
4) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to an even fancier sounding name
There was one fella who called himself ‘Mr 18 Inch’, and one who calls himself ‘Mr Cuminator’. Going by this logic, I reckon I will never make it as a porn star because I doubt people will be interested in someone named ‘Sibeh Sian’.
I think he has been studying too much, but Nerd commented that if he ever enters the industry, he will call himself ‘Dr Penetrator’. I thought for a long while, and finally decided on ‘Juicy Pussy’ for myself. Heh.
So what would you call yourself?
With Love,
Sibeh ‘Juicy Pussy’ Sian
Update:
Here’re the responses of the people around me when I asked them the question:
Adrenaline:
‘Flame Girl’
Nerd (he wanted more than one stage name):
‘Doctor Love’
Office Bimbo:
‘Ivana Humpalot’
My Boss:
‘You Hong Gan Lah You!’
My Mum:
‘Boy, Cannot Do This Kind of Thing!’
19 Comments:
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 12:40:00 PM, sÞ¡ηηєє said…
my god. are u too deprived or something, SBS?!
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 2:04:00 PM, socute333 said…
eeeeewwwww
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 3:41:00 PM, flying paper said…
Argh...Mr.Sian and Nerd watch porn! Haiz..thought innocent guys exist but the truth is no! haha...the names are disgusting...eee...
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 4:39:00 PM, Johnny said…
I would call myself
"The Love of God"
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 7:41:00 PM, dex.8.1 said…
Hey Sian, if you truly thinking of making a career out of porn, it's time to Lose IT. Coz to succeed, the male lead need to LAST!!! Be brave, Just Lose It.
Ehh, maybe that can be your starname too uh ;)
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 9:01:00 PM, Sibeh Sian said…
Spinnee: Me dear, I am perpetually deprived. Heh.
Hiao Auntie: So are you Hiao Auntie or Platform Shoes? BTW I think Hiao Auntie would make a good stage name, heh.
Flying Paper: I am still innocent! Really! :D
Johnny: You are the only respondent to my query, Mr Love of God ;)
Freakkler: Ok, I will change my name to Just Lose It, and pray that Nike doesn't sue my ass off :)
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 11:04:00 PM, yanZzz said…
wo de tian ar ~~
At Wednesday, October 04, 2006 11:50:00 PM, mrdes said…
Amazing...I'm beginning to believe that most guys, at different time of their life, dream of becoming a porn star. At least, me and my NS mates did. We thought being a porn star is a win-win situation:you get the lay and the dough...haha
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 10:32:00 AM, HANNAH said…
hahahaha! but i think japanese porn are boring..in fact most porn are boring..no story just sex and more sex...maybe i can call myself " The Blower" :P
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 11:02:00 AM, pj said…
but porn names are really tasteless.
i mean, how about ms. agro?
doesn't sound too porn-ish too. ;)
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:07:00 PM, Sibeh Sian said…
Yanzzz: Aha! I see you are only targeting the Chinese audience :)
Mrdes: Exactly! Unless you are in gay porn, which will be sibeh, sibeh sian.
Adrenaline: Anything you say, Flame Girl ;)
Sunflower: Haha, maybe subconsciously, I dream of turning female :)
Hannah: Very, very explicit. Heh ;)
PJ: It sounds kind of SM, haha :P
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:59:00 PM, SeaLs said…
I'd probably like 'Lips UnSealed'.
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 1:59:00 PM, SeaLs said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 2:44:00 PM, pj said…
SM? yeah but there are other ways to read it..
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 5:53:00 PM, Old Beng said…
Sian, change your nic to Sibeh shiok, maybe...
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 7:52:00 PM, ReneRene said…
sbs: your porn name not manly onez...haha
At Thursday, October 05, 2006 11:24:00 PM, Jj said…
so did you and nerd proceeded to do anything else after the LATE NIGHT chat? weren't you guys thinking of that after the chat?
hee hee hee.
i would call myself Sir SharpShooter.
At Saturday, October 07, 2006 9:25:00 AM, Finsology said…
Eh..write thesis on this.. =)
At Saturday, October 07, 2006 4:19:00 PM, Zhe Bin said…
I doubt you will succeed even if you migrate to Japan with a 中看不中用的 name. ; ) The actors are not that facially-enhanced but they have other important stuffs to make up for it. Heh.
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