The long and short about Porn

Updated!


Warning:
This is an RA post. You have been warned. Heh.


I am not trying advocate anything here, but one of the topics that came up during my late night chats with Nerd at this place, was on porn.

After some profound discussion, we arrived at the following conclusions:


1) It pays to be buck-ugly
Except for some rare exceptions, the male leads in Jap porn are more often than not pimply, wrinkly, and buck-ugly. I am thus seriously considering migrating to Japan.

2) An epilator is one of the best gifts you can give to a female friend
Let’s not go into details here.

3) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to have fanciful movie titles
Some of the more ‘imaginative’ titles we came across include ‘Beauty & The Beast Vol.8’, ‘Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outcum’, and ‘Apprentice: You are F*****!’

4) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to an even fancier sounding name
There was one fella who called himself ‘Mr 18 Inch’, and one who calls himself ‘Mr Cuminator’. Going by this logic, I reckon I will never make it as a porn star because I doubt people will be interested in someone named ‘Sibeh Sian’.


I think he has been studying too much, but Nerd commented that if he ever enters the industry, he will call himself ‘Dr Penetrator’. I thought for a long while, and finally decided on ‘Juicy Pussy’ for myself. Heh.

So what would you call yourself?

With Love,
Sibeh ‘Juicy Pussy’ Sian

Update:

Here’re the responses of the people around me when I asked them the question:

Adrenaline:
‘Flame Girl’

Nerd (he wanted more than one stage name):
‘Doctor Love’

Office Bimbo:
‘Ivana Humpalot’

My Boss:
‘You Hong Gan Lah You!’

My Mum:
‘Boy, Cannot Do This Kind of Thing!’