The long and short about I Don’t Understand Women Part II

I really, really don’t understand women.

I found a letter on my desk when I reached the office this morning.

It was in a pink envelope.

It came from Office Bimbo.

And it was addressed to me.

Although I must state here that I don’t have any feelings for Office Bimbo at all, I was nonetheless terribly excited at receiving a love letter, because that was something that has never happened before in my life. So I raced to the office loo where I locked myself in a nice cubicle, pulled down my pants, and started reading.

Here’s the letter reproduced in its entirety:


“Sibeh Sian,

I know this is going to hurt, so I will try to say this as gently as possible:

I may have been dumped, but I am not desperate.

I think it was very courageous of you to confess your love and admiration for me in your recent blog entries. I understand perfectly well because after all, I am a very attractive, eligible, and recently single bachelorette. There is no need for you to feel ashamed because there have been many, many others before you.

However, please understand that being a lady of high standards, it is perfectly understandable that I look for men with high standards too. To start things off, I shouldn’t be able to see the top of his hair when I wear heels. Oh, by the way, I’m glad to inform you that you are not balding.

This is going to be hard, but please forget me. But if you really can’t do it, try to emulate the qualities of the ideal man I told you about some time back. Even you can be given a chance if you are hardworking and own a Jaguar one day :)

Sincerely,
Office Bimbo

P.S. I hope you will stop stalking me after this letter. It was quite unnerving to see you leering at me with your mouth full of ketchup-dipped fries at McDonald’s.”


I really, really don’t understand women. Why must she send this kind of letter in a pink envelope?!?!??!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian