The long and short about An Open Letter To My Computer

Dear Computer,

It has been a few days since we last spoke to each other, and despite the many misunderstandings that have happened between us, I sincerely hope you are feeling better.

Do you still remember how we met? It was three plus years ago at an IT show, and I made up my mind about making you mine because you were drop dead gorgeous and had a great figure: Pentium IV 2.8, 512MB RAM, GeForce 128MB. You may be old and haggard now, but I fondly remember the days when you were in all your 80GB worth of glory.

We started as a loving couple, we really did. Hand in hand, we slew the hordes of Diablo without blinking our eyes. We raised babies and made love to each others’ wives in Sims 2. We shared music unselfishly with faceless comrades in Timbuktu, and we chatted with balding lechers in ICQ.

You gave me your word and I gave you mine; a holy matrimony in the cyber times.

Alas! The good times were not meant to last! You started getting sluggish, started throwing tantrums from time to time. I missed a report deadline after you irresponsibly crashed out of town. You had amnesia, and forgot all about our precious memories of saved games, spreadsheets and photographs.

I thought I can endure all this, but since yesterday, you have inexplicably refused to start up. You made me commit adultery by typing this in the office com. You drove me up the wall, and you have won.

I know we can never be like before, but before you leave, I hope it’s not too much to ask you to return what is mine. If you will just start up once, I will take out and back up my precious collection of very, very artistic films that have accompanied me through the years. Please! I beg of you, I'm on my knees!

Goodbye, Computer.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian