The long and short about The Misadventures of Nerd

The following details the crimes committed by Nerd in his first day at the office:


1) Nerd arrived fashionably late for work because Sibeh Sian treated him to the damn nice You Char Kuay and kopi stall near the office.

2) The pair got lashed verbally by the evil Ms Tan for arriving late, albeit fashionably so. She also cruelly rejected their generous offer of Fried You Char Kuay.

3) Nerd spoilt the coffee-making machine at approximately 10:17am. To prevent his career from ending prematurely, Nerd decided to take Sibeh Sian’s advice to pretend he has got nothing to do with it.

4) Nerd spoilt the fax machine at approximately 11:23am.

5) The pair decided to go for an early lunch with Office Bimbo, who celebrates Nerd’s first day by buying lunch at the damn nice dim sum restaurant near the office.

6) The three got lashed verbally by the evil Ms Tan for returning very late from lunch.

7) The Boss was very, very pissed when he discovered the spoilt coffee-making machine. By his orders, no one gets to go home until the culprit owns up.

8) The Boss was pacified when Nerd bought him some kopi from the damn nice You Char Kuay and kopi stall. He told all of us to learn from Nerd.

9) Nerd accidentally activated the fire alarm at approximately 5:34pm.


In other news, I am now the proud owner of a SpongeBob mouse pad, a SpongeBob stress ball, and a whole set of SpongeBob stationery courtesy of Nerd. I am so looking forward to getting massaged by his SpongeBob portable vibrator tomorrow.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian