The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The long and short about The Most Useful Entry I’ve Written So Far

This entry is dedicated to the struggling office worker, who instead of lunching at Lawry's, suffers with the maddening lunch crowd at the humble food court.

Five Simple Steps in Getting The Most Out of The Chinese Cooked Food Stall

Step #01:
Smile at the auntie.

Step #02:
Do not call the auntie ‘auntie’. Call her ‘xiao jie’.

Step #03:
Always order fixed sized items, such as chicken drumsticks, last. The rationale for this is very simple. If you order fixed sized items first, you will end up with a smaller portion of other dishes as a significant percentage of the plate’s surface area is taken up by the drumstick already.

Step #04:
Never give the exact amount when paying. Example: if your lunch cost $2.10, give the auntie $3 and ask for change. If you are lucky, the auntie will be short on coins and just charge you $2 instead.

Step #05:
Thank the auntie ‘xiao jie’ profusely. Follow up with a compliment, such as ‘You remind me of Lin Ching Hsia!’. Don’t forget to smile.

In a moment of kindness, I imparted the above tactics to Office Bimbo. She reciprocated by saying, “You are destined to be single for the rest of your life.”

It doesn’t pay to be kind :(

With Love,
Sibeh Sian


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