The long and short about I Love You

Nerd forwarded me this email yesterday, which goes along the line of ‘you should never procrastinate in telling someone “I love you”, because when you finally do, it may be too late’.

That email touched something deep inside me. I really don’t want to lie helpless with regret on my death bed, and so I am going to say it. And I am going to say it right here, right now, right on this page.

I love you, KFC.

We first met on that long forgotten TV station known as SBC. I knew you but you didn’t know me. Love at first sight when I was smitten by images of your healthy golden tan and fried crispy skin. Hard to think you came from an old foogey from the military.

You were always so near yet so far. You titillate my senses every time I pass you by. All that separate us was just a few lousy bucks. Oh, the joy I felt when my mum finally brought me in! And whispered the magical words “I’ll like a two-piece meal please”! You even dispensed my favorite ketchup, in a fanciful ketchup dispensing machine.

Love at first sight, love at first bite. You were the lover who didn’t disappoint even when you promised much. Your flesh was oh so tender, your aroma filled me with delightful lust. Your skin was so full of flavor, I cried when I licked my last. I knew at the instant this was a relationship that was meant to last.

You were always there for me when I was down. From the time I nearly flunked my PSLE to that rejected love letter from my latest crush. You were also there for me when I was up. From the time I collected my very first pay check to a very happy 21st birthday lunch. For all the inconstancies in an inconstant world, you were among the few constants I came to rely on much.

Our relationship was often a tumultuous one. I noticed that you have shrunk, while friends and naysayers said you are no good for me in the long run. I succumbed to their words once, and neglected you for a very long time. For that I am sorry, and I apologize for the flings I had with Mos, Long John, and that ugly red clown. But I just want you to know that if I ever migrate, I will go to Kentucky where we can have fun in the sun.

I love you, KFC, and I hope I’ll be with you till the end of time.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian