The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Friday, July 07, 2006

The long and short about I Love You



Nerd forwarded me this email yesterday, which goes along the line of ‘you should never procrastinate in telling someone “I love you”, because when you finally do, it may be too late’.

That email touched something deep inside me. I really don’t want to lie helpless with regret on my death bed, and so I am going to say it. And I am going to say it right here, right now, right on this page.

I love you, KFC.

We first met on that long forgotten TV station known as SBC. I knew you but you didn’t know me. Love at first sight when I was smitten by images of your healthy golden tan and fried crispy skin. Hard to think you came from an old foogey from the military.

You were always so near yet so far. You titillate my senses every time I pass you by. All that separate us was just a few lousy bucks. Oh, the joy I felt when my mum finally brought me in! And whispered the magical words “I’ll like a two-piece meal please”! You even dispensed my favorite ketchup, in a fanciful ketchup dispensing machine.

Love at first sight, love at first bite. You were the lover who didn’t disappoint even when you promised much. Your flesh was oh so tender, your aroma filled me with delightful lust. Your skin was so full of flavor, I cried when I licked my last. I knew at the instant this was a relationship that was meant to last.

You were always there for me when I was down. From the time I nearly flunked my PSLE to that rejected love letter from my latest crush. You were also there for me when I was up. From the time I collected my very first pay check to a very happy 21st birthday lunch. For all the inconstancies in an inconstant world, you were among the few constants I came to rely on much.

Our relationship was often a tumultuous one. I noticed that you have shrunk, while friends and naysayers said you are no good for me in the long run. I succumbed to their words once, and neglected you for a very long time. For that I am sorry, and I apologize for the flings I had with Mos, Long John, and that ugly red clown. But I just want you to know that if I ever migrate, I will go to Kentucky where we can have fun in the sun.

I love you, KFC, and I hope I’ll be with you till the end of time.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

37 Comments:

  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 1:41:00 PM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    I tht you are going to confess, you love Adrenaline!

    If she is guy and you are the female gay... it match perfertly, Yes?

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 1:50:00 PM, Blogger Adrenaline said…

    sunflower: EH! don't anyhow say hor!

    sbs: WHAT THE FUCK?!

    i thot ur love is Burger King.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 2:12:00 PM, Blogger Green Ogre said…

    Haha, that was actually quite cool. We can meet and go pig out at KFC okay? Original all the way.

    Or maybe we can start our own Fried Chicken store and say it was started by Corporal Mudders.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 2:25:00 PM, Blogger dark jedi said…

    sbs, i should introduce you to my wife. kfc's the other love of her life other than me.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 2:40:00 PM, Blogger Saroette said…

    woah!! Sibei u, sibei rymthe n sibei gay.

    wan intro girls to u also sibei SCARED! haha

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 2:45:00 PM, Blogger Beth said…

    After reading this positng, I think you are sibeh poetic and sibeh humourous also... Oh I also think you also sibeh efficient at work also...

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 2:53:00 PM, Blogger lakeside girl said…

    "Original pls, not crispy.

    ONLY thigh and drumstick.

    Change coeslaw to whipped potato."

    I have nightmares of ordering KFC for my parents.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 3:39:00 PM, Blogger lambchop said…

    i am falling in love with you!!!!

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 3:57:00 PM, Blogger bochup said…

    oh my gawd.... all my goosebumps are popping out.

    By the way, I think KFC has the best ice lemon tea. And have you tried mixing mashed potatoes + coleslaw + chilli sauce?

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 4:03:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Sunflower: I am actually waiting for her to confess instead. Adrenaline, if you are reading this: just an old fashion love letter will do. Poems are optional :)

    Adrenaline: I'm with Burger King for the sex only. My true love is still KFC.

    Green Ogre: Original all the way! Actually, I have a brilliant business plan just waiting for funding. Will tell you about it if we do meet up at good ol' Sanders.

    Dark Jedi: Ah! I can see that your wife has discerning taste and appreciates the finer things in life.

    Sarotte: Argh!!!! Where's the 'sibeh gay' part?!?!

    Beth: I is very, very efficient at making full use of my working hours indeed :)

    Lakeside Girl: After reading what you wrote, I think it's possible that you are my daughter. Haha. Kidding. I change the side to cheese fries though. Yummy yum yum!

    Lambchop: So I take it that you will make banners for me when I join Singapore Idol :)?

    Grace: MY GOODNESS! I totally left out the lemon tea until I read your comment. Yes, they have the best ice lemon tea. No KFC meal is complete without it!

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 4:16:00 PM, Blogger lor mai gai said…

    Sian, lambchop has confessed her love for u.

    Adrenaline dun worry. I think u are still the priority on Sian's list. Heh

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 4:34:00 PM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    Adrenaline, I never anyhow say le. See sian's reply.

    Lor Mai gai, I feel like eating you and shit you out!

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 6:24:00 PM, Blogger Adrenaline said…

    sbs: yes, i would like to confess. My hatred for you. I would burn u hate letters after i stab u to death.

    and what kind of sick bastard uses burgers fm BK for sex?!

    lormaigai: Priority? It's a curse, i tell you.

    sunflower: You have taken this all wrong. Apparently, u dunno the difference between love and hate. Haiz.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 6:37:00 PM, Blogger JayWalk said…

    Acherly hor, Church's Texas Fried Chicken got bigger breasts. More hiam hiam some more. You no like meh?

    Too bad she died a few years back.

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 6:37:00 PM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    opsss i am in the wrong again!

    sob sob...

    k, Sian, bo bain, Adrenaline really hate you! i better stay out.

    Adrenaline - sorry babe! hehe

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 8:07:00 PM, Blogger Jaschocolate said…

    Hey, i love original chicken from KFC too.. I think the best outlet in Singapore is the one at Taman Jurong.. Super juicy...

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 8:16:00 PM, Blogger Lawrence & Alicia said…

    I luv to read Adrenaline's comment as much as I read ur blog.. And I m a regular reader to her blog as well..

    There really is a chemisry btw u 2 minus the Mr.Bf.. hahahaa..

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 8:20:00 PM, Blogger LemonCloud said…

    Luckily I have KFC before I read your post. Else I might be put off after reading your entry..

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 8:31:00 PM, Blogger nadnut said…

    lambchops: u have to fight me for him! muahahahaaa. *catfight alert*

    or shall we just share? :P

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 10:57:00 PM, Blogger eileen` said…

    sian, please do not encourage your readers to eat meat. the animals everywhere are suffering. nan dao ni ren xin kan zhe ta men shou ku mah?

    be a vegetarian, like me.

    oh well, at least eat fish but cut out the poultry. =P

     
  • At Friday, July 07, 2006 11:36:00 PM, Blogger Le Raine said…

    LOL i think i'm EXACTLY like lakeside girl's parents.

    tsk, whats with this double standards? professing your love for KFC, but flaunting your infidelity by proposing to go to BK with Ah Sai?

    you are a.. fast-foodernizer. repent, or go to hell, sinner.

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 12:42:00 AM, Blogger Beth said…

    Actually come to think of it, in those HK drama serials, the nan zu jiao and nu zhu jiao always start off as yuan jia, but they will fall hopelessly in love later one.....
    So Adrenaline and Sibeh Sian...er.... hmmm... (drums fingers on tables)

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 1:06:00 AM, Blogger antisocialfreak said…

    Thanks to ur post, I suddenly have this craving for a 2pc chicken meal.. arrgh I shall have KFC for lunch!

    Damn, I'm so gonna get fat.

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 1:29:00 AM, Blogger SaltPop. said…

    Nah, it didn't. x) I like Bandito pocket though. Hmm. Anything you like to address. No problem for me.

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 8:12:00 AM, Blogger Jaschocolate said…

    SBS, i cannot understand why gals are falling in love with you... I rather take adrenaline.. mmmm...

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 9:39:00 AM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    Church's Texas Fried Chicken is competitor of KFC maybe.

    Another brand lah... toopid sian!

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 9:56:00 AM, Blogger Winter_Cherrie said…

    HAHAHAHA..

    so funny.... Sian you are the best man..

    Hahaha now i cant stop laughing.

    Hope KFC felt the same about you too..

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 11:39:00 AM, Blogger Adrenaline said…

    Oh no ... so many people are mistaken abt sian and me.

    Sbs, to prove my innocence, i would have to stab u thro ur eyes and slice u up and throw pieces of u along orchard road.

    please leave some last words for your readers.

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 12:07:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    LMG: In fact, I think I will confess too. Lor Mai Gai, I love you, I really do. When can we have kids?

    Sunflower: Don't need to say sorry to Adrenaline one! The best way to deal with bullies like Adrenaline is to ignore them! Heh.

    Adrenaline: Wrt to the 'Burger King sex' I was using an analogy ok? As my Boss so often say, 'You are sitting on your brains :D!'

    Jaywalk: Aiyoh, what talking you?!?!?! Coincidentally, I am hum ji who don't take chili, haha....

    JasChoc: I went to the Taman Jurong one before! Taste the same to me leh, haha....

    Alicia: I agree with you. I think I shall start planning how many babies I am going to make with Adrenaline :)

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 12:07:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    LemonCloud: Oei! This entry is supposed to make you want to eat KFC one can? Heh.

    Nadnut: I abhor violence, but if you must, video tape it for me. Haha.

    Eileen: I tried being vegetarian, but things just didn't work out. I'm a condemned Meatarian :(

    Le Raine: Fast-foodernizer! That's going to be in dictionary. And admit it, you are one too. No?

    Beth: Exactly. If nothing goes wrong, we will be parents this time next year :)

    ASF: Life is short! Don't worry too much about the 'fat' part! In fact, I would recommend a 3 piece meal :)

    SaltPop: surprisingly, I never tried the Bandito thingy leh. When I'm not eating the chicken, I have the Zinger meal. Which comes with yummy yum yum cheese fries :)

    JasChoc: Must be because they don't like TIBS or SMRT. Hahahaha.

    Sunflower: Thanks thanks :D! Sounds good sia. Where can I find the said chicken? BTW I tried Popeye's at Changi, but can't fight with KFC leh.

    Yanni: One of my wildest dreams is that they will employ me as an ambassador and let me have KFC for free for the rest of my life :)

    Adrenaline: I am so glad I will probably never meet you in real life. Nay nay ni boo boo! Mauahahah :D

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 12:28:00 PM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    Sian, I really wan to faint.

    Jay had oready commented bo liao. and yet you still ask me where to get.

    Anyway, the green blogskin is back. Love this green tat is link to you!

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 12:56:00 PM, Blogger lambchop said…

    nadnut: i have loved sibeh sian long time!! you ask him!... lol

     
  • At Saturday, July 08, 2006 11:45:00 PM, Blogger the tooth fairy said…

    Oh my gawd. You're so goddamned funny!!!!! Love it.

    And yes...I TOTALLY agree that KFC has shrunk! Can you pls tell ur lover to go beef up pls?

    Otherwise, I wld recommend that you go for her Thai cousin instead. I still remember the fat juicy thigh I sunk my teeth in at the Bangkok airport KFC. Yum yum...

     
  • At Sunday, July 09, 2006 10:02:00 AM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    The tooth fairy, sibeh sian = to sibeh stingy. Oh please, this recommendation sure kena reject.

    Ha Ha Ha

     
  • At Sunday, July 09, 2006 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Saroette said…

    Wld u believe it? Sian? my hubby actually drag me to eat KFC after we went for evening mass yesterday!! N he read ur post on Fri after i pass him the link.

    Think ur post abt ur love is working magic on my hubby too!

    ur love for KFC is doing very well!! haha

     
  • At Monday, July 10, 2006 3:09:00 AM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Sunflower: Oh yah hor, paiseh, haha.... Condolences to her family :(

    Lambchop: Very, very long time indeed. Heh.

    Tooth Fairy: But if KFC beef up, some of my Buddists friends can't enjoy it already leh.

    Sunflower: Ah. You know me very, very well indeed :)

    Saroette: In fact, I had KFC for dinner just now too! Superman Buddy Meal rocks!

     
  • At Monday, July 10, 2006 9:56:00 AM, Blogger Saroette said…

    ya.. tat meal lor.. but continue eating... it's not just superman. but superFAT liao!

     

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