The long and short about I Think Ms Tan Don’t Like Me Very Much

Day 5 that I’ve not shitted. This is getting serious.

I drank 200ml’s worth of prune juice as advised, and got ‘the feeling’ last evening. Alas, it was not meant to be, and I was in terrible pain while squatting in the loo. Trust me, it’s not funny when your backside feels like concrete is trying to pass through it.

Needless to say, I wore a constipated look at work all day yesterday (no pun intended). Actually, everyone in the office looked constipated regardless whether they were really constipated or not, probably because long weekends have ended and they have spent all their yearend bonus or something.

The only exception is Ms Tan. She was the only one who didn’t look like she hasn’t shitted in days. But that’s because she looked like she haven’t shitted in years. I was at the unfortunate end of yet another verbal lashing session in her office.


Ms Tan: I don’t care if you have to spend another weekend in the office. I want this done ASAP.

Me: Yes Mdm.

Ms Tan: Don’t you just “Yes Mdm” me every time. You better produce a better work for me this time.

Me: Yes Mdm.

Ms Tan: . . . . And what have you got to say for yourself for that client’s complaint on New Year’s day?


And that’s when I couldn’t bear it, and let ripped four days’ worth of very, very smelly gas in her office.

Oh well.

With Love,
Sibeh “Lorenzo” Sian