The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The long and short about I Think Ms Tan Don’t Like Me Very Much



Day 5 that I’ve not shitted. This is getting serious.

I drank 200ml’s worth of prune juice as advised, and got ‘the feeling’ last evening. Alas, it was not meant to be, and I was in terrible pain while squatting in the loo. Trust me, it’s not funny when your backside feels like concrete is trying to pass through it.

Needless to say, I wore a constipated look at work all day yesterday (no pun intended). Actually, everyone in the office looked constipated regardless whether they were really constipated or not, probably because long weekends have ended and they have spent all their yearend bonus or something.

The only exception is Ms Tan. She was the only one who didn’t look like she hasn’t shitted in days. But that’s because she looked like she haven’t shitted in years. I was at the unfortunate end of yet another verbal lashing session in her office.


Ms Tan: I don’t care if you have to spend another weekend in the office. I want this done ASAP.

Me: Yes Mdm.

Ms Tan: Don’t you just “Yes Mdm” me every time. You better produce a better work for me this time.

Me: Yes Mdm.

Ms Tan: . . . . And what have you got to say for yourself for that client’s complaint on New Year’s day?


And that’s when I couldn’t bear it, and let ripped four days’ worth of very, very smelly gas in her office.

Oh well.

With Love,
Sibeh “Lorenzo” Sian

15 Comments:

  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 9:34:00 AM, Blogger aLL tHiNgS pReTtY said…

    U literally 'bombed' her :P

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 10:42:00 AM, Blogger lushmellows said…

    Hello Mr. SBS,

    I have been reading your blog for a few months now and is an ardent fan of your postings. Indeed, I find that your writings are intelligent and full of entertainment values.
    In regards to your posting today, here's my two-cents worth of personal thoughts:

    Well done! :D

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 11:07:00 AM, Blogger JayWalk said…

    Chope! Not me hor!

    *twist fingers*

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 12:28:00 PM, Blogger Christel said…

    That's Mother Nature's way of dealing with her for her closetted issues... through YOU!

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 1:13:00 PM, Blogger Mae said…

    i hope her mouth wasn't open then...

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 1:41:00 PM, Blogger imnothere said…

    dear SbS,

    rest in peace, or in pieces.

    rgds
    Imnothere

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 1:53:00 PM, Blogger CRABBY GAL said…

    haha...good one! but u shld have drunk 1 litre of prune juice for full effect! Good luck!

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 3:12:00 PM, Blogger Cindy said…

    5 days... I wonder if anyone has ever died from not shitting, and if so, how many days did it take?

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 5:55:00 PM, Blogger kangaroo said…

    i think you can try long jing cha.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 6:45:00 PM, Blogger OLLie said…

    I think I wouldnt wanna be Ms Tan for nuts.

    4 days worth of.. ahh.. I would have ran out of the room if I smelt anything like that.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 9:17:00 PM, Blogger Aileen said…

    Your conversation with Ms tan is kinda kinky. Anyway, start shakin your butt more. EXERCISE! to increase bowel movement. Oh, down gallons of fluids too.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 10:32:00 PM, Blogger SeaLs said…

    You know what? I didn't shit for SIXTEEN days when I was in Cambodia during a volunteer trip.

    Bananas, prunes, vegetables (we were vegetarians for those 16 days because we didn't have electricity to keep a fridge in the village) everyday - but no use.

    It was a psychological block for me.

    But for you, probably you wanted to express yourself to Ms Tan the way you know how - thru the ass. =)

    Anyway, think you can't beat my record - hah. (you wouldn't want to)

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Razzle Dazzled said…

    sibeh sian : i got two words for you.







    FLEET ENEMA.

    i promise you, there will be effects :)

     
  • At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:05:00 AM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    Sian, actually I hope after you shit it will wash your bad luck away. But then I think you have accummulating the bad luck leh!

     
  • At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 10:38:00 AM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    ATP: Although unintended, it was nicely executed. Heh :)

    Lushmellows: Dear Lushmellows, you are too kind. You must be the only person to find my writings bearing any resemblance to intelligence, heh.

    Jaywalk: I didn't even have to chance to twist finger sia :(

    Christel: Gasp! Maybe I'm the avenger for truth! Haha.

    Mae: She showed her lightning reflexes when she covered her nostrils, heh :)

    Imnothere: Since you are so nice I will watch over your shoulders :)

    Crabby Gal: 1 litre?!?!?!? My goodness :P

    Cindy: I have a friend who only shits once a week, but she's been that way since puberty :(

    Kangaroo: Does it taste yucky :P?

    Ollie: As a department head, she had to show her resolve even in unpleasant times. Heh.

    Aileen: Talking about exercise, I've not done so since the marathon. NOooooo!

    Seals: SIXTEEN days?!?!?!? *Salutes* You are sibeh powerful sia :P

    Razzle Dazzled: What is fleet enema :P??

    Sunflower: Maybe you are right :D! Once I've shitted everything will turn right. But I sure hope that's gonna happen soon!

     

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