The long and short about The Woes Of A Manly Man

My efforts in proving my manliness in the office have not exactly been very successful.

1) Continuing Sushi Eating Friend’s advice on how I should try to be more ‘man’, I’ve decided to bulk my body up. I have no idea how I should start, so I got a copy of Men’s Health on my way to work the other day. Turned out to be a bad move because The Boss passed by my cubicle just now. He saw the mag with that half-naked cover guy with a six-pack and very big neh nehs, and he looked very, very disturbed.

2) I heard besides women and booze, football is what gets straight guys hot and bothered. With this in mind, I tried to join the office guys in a World Cup discussion the other day. Everything was going well, but my limited knowledge of the sport was exposed when I commented “I hope Singapore will make it past the quarter-finals this time.”

3) After initially going “Yeeeeeee!” at the Maxim pin-ups at my cubicle walls, Office Bimbo has been coming over to admire them. Then she saw one pic of this Korean char bor, and she went “Yeeeeeee! She’s a she-male, you know?”. She then made me feel very uncomfortable by looking at me up and down and smiling funnily.

4) I tried putting on cologne the other day. This turned out to be a very, very bad move because Nerd had the same fragrance on.

Is there no way I can clear my name?!?!?!?

With Love,
Sibeh Sian