The Misadventures of Sibeh Sian

You can call me Sian. Sibeh Sian.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The long and short about The Woes Of A Manly Man



My efforts in proving my manliness in the office have not exactly been very successful.

1) Continuing Sushi Eating Friend’s advice on how I should try to be more ‘man’, I’ve decided to bulk my body up. I have no idea how I should start, so I got a copy of Men’s Health on my way to work the other day. Turned out to be a bad move because The Boss passed by my cubicle just now. He saw the mag with that half-naked cover guy with a six-pack and very big neh nehs, and he looked very, very disturbed.

2) I heard besides women and booze, football is what gets straight guys hot and bothered. With this in mind, I tried to join the office guys in a World Cup discussion the other day. Everything was going well, but my limited knowledge of the sport was exposed when I commented “I hope Singapore will make it past the quarter-finals this time.”

3) After initially going “Yeeeeeee!” at the Maxim pin-ups at my cubicle walls, Office Bimbo has been coming over to admire them. Then she saw one pic of this Korean char bor, and she went “Yeeeeeee! She’s a she-male, you know?”. She then made me feel very uncomfortable by looking at me up and down and smiling funnily.

4) I tried putting on cologne the other day. This turned out to be a very, very bad move because Nerd had the same fragrance on.

Is there no way I can clear my name?!?!?!?

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

11 Comments:

  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 10:38:00 AM, Blogger Adrenaline said…

    heheheheh .... u are screwed.

    Start behaving in a very bastard manner. All straight males have the bastard quality in their blood. No kidding. altho actually i think u're already behaving like that ....

    Oh, it's a very bad idea to use cologne, cos by nature, men are supposed to smell bad.

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 11:18:00 AM, Blogger Sunflower said…

    Aiyo! i got nothing to say liao.... hmmm, quick find a gf, that solve all your problem!

    Cheers! Look at the bright side!

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 12:18:00 PM, Blogger OLLie said…

    Ay, simple. Just grab Sushi Eating Friend and bribe her into kissing you. Take a shot of that, and put it BIG BIG on your table. On your desktop screen too. Screensaver too.

    Then can liao la.

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 12:37:00 PM, Blogger Green Ogre said…

    Pay me enough money and I solve all your problems.

    We can arrange a consultation for your where we can prioritise which issues you wish to resolve first, since you do not appear rich enough to afford my whole suite of packages.

    Because your blog is green, I'll give you a 10% discount.

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 3:17:00 PM, Blogger lambchop said…

    you should be writing a sitcom! i would definitely watch ;)

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 5:42:00 PM, Blogger Ang Ku Kueh said…

    i can pose as ur gf for a minimal fee!!!

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 10:34:00 PM, Blogger pj said…

    its SO simple.

    just watch some porn. (the straight type)

    or u could always very ostentatiously read some magazines and point out some babes that u think is hot "eh this one zun'

    i don't think they would still harp on abt u being gay. :D

     
  • At Thursday, June 01, 2006 10:35:00 PM, Blogger pj said…

    alternatively, u can always opt for a lifestyle change.

    if u can't beat 'em, join 'em. :D

     
  • At Friday, June 02, 2006 2:46:00 PM, Blogger Sibeh Sian said…

    Adrenaline: Then I must be doing it right because my colleagues think my cologne smells bad :)!

    Sunflower: I also know, but gf where got so easy to find one?

    Ollie: I've not told her your suggestion, but I reckon it will have to be a very, very big bribe.

    Green Ogre: Is it the same $1688 package you mentioned last time? To be honest, I'm only willing to pay 1% of that, heh.

    Lambchop: I intend to re-do VR Man. Heh.

    AKK: Every time people tell me 'minimal fee', alarms start going off in my heads.

    PJ: Lifestyle change your head lah lifestyle change!

     
  • At Friday, June 02, 2006 3:22:00 PM, Blogger Zhe Bin said…

    I can teach you to be a bastard. I won't charge you anything. But along the way you have to be able to put up with the.. teachings.

    But of cos I was just crapping. I am a manly guy but I am not a bastard. Plus, I am not about to be a kpo. I don't think you should be someone you're not. And when that someone appears to be quite the opposite of yourself.

    Am I v.bastard? If you think so then I am qualified. RSVP.

     
  • At Monday, June 05, 2006 9:34:00 AM, Blogger Green Ogre said…

    Times very bad now. Okay, I give you the sibeh sibeh good price of S$16.88 no GST.

     

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