The long and short about A True Singapore Ghost Story

Just between you and me, I am a very hum chee kind of guy. I blame it on the many Chinese vampire shows they keep showing on TV when I was young, and also on the many volumes of True Singapore Ghost Stories:



The all-time bestseller in Singapore


I was working late in the office last night because of some last minute work pushed to me by Ms Tan, that absolutely have to emailed to our overseas client by 10pm local time. Save for the incessant typing at my keyboard, the office was dead silent by 8 plus because everyone was probably home and watching TV already.

Besides being very hungry and very sleepy, I also had a very dire urge to shit. Now I always make it a point not to go to the office loo after dark because the place is downright creepy with its green-painted walls and ceilings. The weirdest thing is that there’s this Taoist Ba Gua mirror that is strategically located at the top of the toilet door, just opposite the basin mirrors. Rumors have it that there was a suicide case in the company that previously occupied our current premises. Further rumors goes that the disgruntled employee hanged himself in the loo while working OT.

Damn.

But I really don’t have much of a choice because I desperately needed to shit. I also really regret eating that pack of two-day old nasi lemak for dinner because I was really hungry. The next nearest toilet was the dingy one at the nearby petrol station, and I want nothing to do with it.

And so I went into the office loo, selected the cubicle that’s nearest to the exit, and started to do my thing. Midway through my business, the toilet went pitch-black suddenly.

I panicked for a while before I recalled the lights are controlled by motion sensors. So I started waving my arms wildly, and the lights came back on. I tried to shift my attention back to the latest copy of Maxim Time magazine.

And that’s when I heard the toilet door creaking as it opens slowly.

Now this time I was really sweating cold because I was dead sure that there was no one in the office but me. I tried to tell myself it was just my imagination but the footsteps followed soon after. It stopped briefly right outside my cubicle before proceeding to the next one. It did not respond when I tried my ‘Hellos?”.

I didn’t even bother to wipe myself clean as I rushed out of the toilet.

But the worst has yet to come. Right there in my office cubicle, I witnessed a truly horrible sight that I will probably not forget for the rest of my life: My computer has been shut down.

I also went ‘AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” when someone tapped me on the shoulders. That ‘someone’ went ‘AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” too.

It was Nerd.


Nerd: Eh, hello Mr Sian!

Me: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!!

Nerd: Oh, I was in the area and I needed to use the loo, but the nearest one was the dingy one at the petrol station that I want nothing to do with, so I came here.

Me: Why didn’t you respond to my ‘Hellos’?

Nerd: Oh, haha, I was listening to my iPod, haha. . . .

Nerd: And Mr Sian, you very bad! I think you forgot to shut off your computer. But not to worry, I helped you do it already.


And that’s the reason why I was late in submitting my work to my client, and why my backside was very, very itchy last night.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian