The long and short about My Tainted Reputation

My goodness, gossips really spreads fast and goes all haywire.

Being the non-kaypoh guy I am, I only told Nerd about what I saw last night. Being the non-kaypoh person Nerd was, he only told Office Bimbo about it. And being the very kaypoh person Office Bimbo was, she had to tell the whole office about it.

The bad thing about gossips is that second-hand and third-hand information gets all twisted up in the end. I only get to realize how twisted gossips can get when the Office Cleaning Auntie asked me if it is true that I was kissing Ms Tan below her apartment last night.

Somebody please clear my name please!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Scandal

I am very, very disturbed.

Before I say anything, I just want everyone to know that I am not those kaypoh type of people who spreads malicious gossips. But I just have to share what I saw just now.

I was on my way home after some light supper (2 x egg prata + 2 x kosong) when I saw someone in a figure-hugging dress stepping out of this big-assed Mercedes. This is of course nothing out of the norm, but I decided to have a second look at the person because she was in a figure-hugging dress she looked kind of familiar.

It was Ms Tan.

What was scandalous was not the fact that she was in a figure-hugging dress. What was scandalous was that she turned around and started kissing the uncle in the driver’s seat, who looked at least 20 years her senior!

I am not one to gossip, so I won’t tell the whole world about it. I think I will just keep it to myself and my colleagues.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Damn Nice Poem

Today is a sibeh nice day :)

Not only do I get to slack recuperate at home because of my super-extended MC, my heart did a triple somersault after I read this gem of a poem:


Get well, Get well, Get well soon!

“Flu flu go away
Cough cough go away
All illness go away
Make Sibeh Sian healthy again!”

- Anonymous
2007

The poem came in a mini pink card, and I must say it’s a really good feeling getting stuff in the mail box from your secret admirer.

That silly Office Bimbo, why does she have to pretend pretend when everything’s already so darn obvious :D?


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Flu

Sorry folks, am down with a terrible flu, will not be blogging much for the next few days. I think.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Hard-To-Please Girl

Office Bimbo has been hospitalized!

Apparently, she has been vomiting left, right and center after having too much seafood during her weekend JB trip. That silly girl, I told her too much hum is harmful for her, but she wouldn’t listen. Oh well.

Being the good friend I am, I made the long trip to the damn faraway hospital just now. I even promised to bring her the very nice congee I heard her raved about the other time, because I know hospital food can suck big time.

I really should have saved my efforts if I know how that Bimbo would react.


Me: Haha, you must be very happy to see me right? Anyway, here’s the congee I promised just now!

Office Bimbo: Thank you so much!!!! I am so hungry now!

Office Bimbo: . . . . Wait a minute. This is not congee.

Office Bimbo: THIS IS LAKSA!

Me: Oh! I think the congee uncle close shop on Sunday afternoons, so I bought you something from the very famous nearby laksa stall instead!

Me: I asked for extra hum too :)


For some reason, Office Bimbo got pissed and refused to touch the laksa. I decided to save the laksa for Nerd, and for some reason Office Bimbo got very excited when she heard he will be visiting. She got even happier when she heard he is getting some stuff for her too.

I thus have no idea why she got very pissed when he finally arrived with a bucket of KFC.

Oh well. Some girls are just so hard to please!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Horrible Dream

I must get this off my chest before I go mad: I just had the most disturbing dream, ever.

I dreamt that I was playing catching on the beach with Office Bimbo, who was in her very, very tiny white bikini. But when I finally caught her and spun her around, she morphed into Ms Tan and kissed me on the lips.

I am very, very disturbed. Can someone interpret my dream please?


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. I think my mum is not going to be very happy when she checks my bedsheet tomorrow.

The long and short about The Delusional Boy

Nerd has really done it!

I have been egging him on to ask for KFC Counter Girl’s phone number, and he really asked for it when he was placing his order for a two-piece meal during lunch. I hereby admit that Nerd has more balls than me.

And I must say KFC Counter Girl is a model KFC employee. She said she will pass Nerd her MSN if Nerd has lunch at KFC for the whole of July.

To be frank, I’m kind of worried because it’s not human to consume pieces after pieces of trans-fat-laden fried chicken for an entire month (although I must add they are great tasting trans-fat-laden fried chicken). I hope Nerd will not get his heart broken by a girl again, nor get his heart broken by cholesterol.

In the meantime, I have another piece of evidence that Office Bimbo has the hots for me: she actually bought breakfast for me this morning. And the shy girl, she pretended she let me have the chui kueh only because she didn’t realized Nerd was only in for work in the afternoon.

It feels so good when you know people are nursing a crush on you :)


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

P.S. As you people can probably guess, I have been sibeh, sibeh busy with work. Will reply all your sibeh wonderful, lovely, and breath-taking comments over the weekend! Heh.

The long and short about The MRT Message

I was very pissed when I heard this message on the train this morning:

“For the convenience of all passengers, please move to the center of the car.”


Walau. If I can afford a car, I will still take MRT meh?!?!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Shy Office Bimbo

Holy Macaroni! I think Office Bimbo is interested in me.

I am saying this because that girl has been calling me incessantly over the weekend. But the silly girl, I think she is shy because instead of talking about us, she kept asking me about the latest developments between Nerd and KFC Counter Girl. Haha, I think she is the shy type who likes to beat about the bush.

I spent my day racking my brains on what she sees in me, and sadly, I couldn’t think of any. Then I realized she must have been very impressed with my dancing at Zouk :)

I am so looking forward to work tomorrow :)!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Sexy Dancer

I can’t believe I let Office Bimbo talk me into going Zouk with her last night.

When Adrenaline first brought me there a good ten years ago, I didn’t enjoy it very much because of various reasons: the music was too loud, the place was too smoky, and all the girls ignored me.

After some hard self-examination, I concluded that the reason why I was ignored was because I couldn’t dance to save my life. But being a Man of Action, I have spent the last ten years perfecting my dancing, and I dare say I am now a pretty good dancer. I even managed to perfect the Chicken Payback dance moves PJ showed me a long time ago:





Despite my awesome dancing, no babes offered to buy me a drink. Oh well.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The KFC Counter Girl

Updated!


Nerd was looking kind of sad yesterday, so being the nice friend I am, I did something that I know will cheer him up immediately: I treated him to KFC.

I didn’t know being nice can lead to so many things:

1) We got more than what we bargained for, really. Instead of the two-piece meal we ordered, the counter girl gave us a three-piece meal by mistake. I feel like such a winner!

2) Nerd got more than what he bargained for, really. Nerd thinks the KFC Counter Girl likes him because she was smiling sweetly at him, and has since been bugging me to go KFC again. I happily obliged. Unfortunately, we didn’t get a free upgrade this time.

3) Office Bimbo think Nerd is nuts because in her own words, “She smiled at you because she is a counter girl, you idiot!”. She also tried to dissuade us from going to KFC again because she claims that KFC is bad for health. We think she is crazy because everybody knows KFC is wholesome goodness.


I am crossing my fingers that Nerd will take his relationship with KFC Counter Girl to a level beyond the KFC counter. She looks nice, with her cheerful smile and bouncy ponytail, and I think she and Nerd will make a really cute couple.

Not to mention, I can probably get to enjoy free KFC in the future :)!


With Love,
Sibeh Sian


Update:

That Nerd is obsessed!

He went for KFC for dinner again just now (I didn’t join him because even I can only stand so many pieces of chicken at one go). He happily SMSed me that he’s now 90% convinced KFC Counter Girl is interested in him because not only did she smiled at him, she also obliged his request for additional sachets of ketchup.

Heh.

The long and short about Poor Nerd

Nerd: Would you guys like to come for my convocation later this month? I have two tickets, haha. . . .

Office Bimbo: Huh? You parents should be attending instead what!

Nerd: They say they are not free, haha. . . .


Just in case you are interested, his elder brother graduated with 1st Class Honors from Imperial College. Nerd told me later in the loo that his folks were not interested in going because they felt his Second Upper in NTU was not worth their time.

I feel sad for Nerd sia :(


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Grasshopper

I am very, very excited when Nerd showed me this.

If you must know, I have always dreamt of being a professional poet. I see this Golden Point Award thingy as a golden opportunity, and I immediately grabbed my pen to come up with the following entry:


The Grasshopper

“There was once a noisy grasshopper,
Who made a lot of noise.
Crkk Crkk Crkk, Crkk Crkk Crkk.
It was very noisy.”

-Sibeh Sian
Autumn, 2007

Nerd thinks it’s brilliant. Even Office Bimbo say it’s my best work so far :)


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Misadventures of Nerd

The following details the crimes committed by Nerd in his first day at the office:


1) Nerd arrived fashionably late for work because Sibeh Sian treated him to the damn nice You Char Kuay and kopi stall near the office.

2) The pair got lashed verbally by the evil Ms Tan for arriving late, albeit fashionably so. She also cruelly rejected their generous offer of Fried You Char Kuay.

3) Nerd spoilt the coffee-making machine at approximately 10:17am. To prevent his career from ending prematurely, Nerd decided to take Sibeh Sian’s advice to pretend he has got nothing to do with it.

4) Nerd spoilt the fax machine at approximately 11:23am.

5) The pair decided to go for an early lunch with Office Bimbo, who celebrates Nerd’s first day by buying lunch at the damn nice dim sum restaurant near the office.

6) The three got lashed verbally by the evil Ms Tan for returning very late from lunch.

7) The Boss was very, very pissed when he discovered the spoilt coffee-making machine. By his orders, no one gets to go home until the culprit owns up.

8) The Boss was pacified when Nerd bought him some kopi from the damn nice You Char Kuay and kopi stall. He told all of us to learn from Nerd.

9) Nerd accidentally activated the fire alarm at approximately 5:34pm.


In other news, I am now the proud owner of a SpongeBob mouse pad, a SpongeBob stress ball, and a whole set of SpongeBob stationery courtesy of Nerd. I am so looking forward to getting massaged by his SpongeBob portable vibrator tomorrow.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian