The long and short about I Am A Very Nice Subordinate

Ms Tan has been incredibly touchy ever since I pulled that fast one over her the other night . In fact, she has been breathing down my neck at work, and pop by my office every now and then to check on me. I find her actions incredibly disruptive because I can’t play Spider Solitaire in peace.

To appease her, I have bought her free bean curd for breakfast yesterday. She curtly replied that she doesn’t like bean curd, so I tried salvaging the situation by saying bean curd is good for the complexion of women of her age. I think she doesn’t like to be rebuked because she looked pissed.

Sigh, as the wise often say, you can’t please everyone every time. But maybe she will change her mind, so I bought her bean curd again this morning. I can be such a nice subordinate at times :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Birthday Wishes

When I was younger, birthday greetings were very simple, and usually goes something like ‘Happy Birthday’.

Now that I’ve turned older, I realized that birthday greetings have evolved into something more complicated. The following are some of the more, eh, complicated greetings I received last week:


From my Boss (co-written in the office birthday card):
Oei Sian! Do you want me to bring you to a lup sup bar to celebrate? Haha, just kidding. But not really. Happy Birthday!

From Office Bimbo (co-written in the office birthday card):
Happy Birthday! I’m glad you realized that we are not made for each other. You may be lonely, but don’t worry, I am sure you will find one of your kind soon. Or maybe not so soon, haha. Enjoy!

From Ms Tan (co-written in the office birthday card):
Try not to take so many MC this year.

From Nerd (via SMS):
Happy birthday Mr Sian! You are a clever and good boy, so I think you will find a girlfriend soon, haha. . . . But if not, don’t worry because you always have me ok? Please come over to my place again for some PS2 fun after my exams :)!

From Anonymous Blogger Who Doesn’t Want To Be Named But Who Always Leaves Sarcastic Comments In My Blog (via SMS):
Happy birthday to you
You are born in the zoo
With gay birds and hippos
May the rhinos rape u


No prizes for guessing who wrote the last greeting. Heh.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Spoof Entries

Updated!


The weekends are finally here! I am very excited because I will be spending them in front of the office computer to finish some stupid report. Haha.

Because life has this nasty habit of getting shittier by the minute, it’s sometimes good to relax and look at the lighter side of life. I’ve thus decided to compile all the spoof entries that I’ve wrote into this entry:


World Cup 2010

World Cup 2010 Part II

Crime Watcher

The Oprah Interview


New!

The Charity Show



Maybe if I put my efforts into work instead of spoofs and thought-provoking poems, I will get promoted faster. Or maybe not. Heh.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Ono Lisa Concert

I almost didn’t make it for the concert with Sushi Eating Friend because Ms Tan tried to make me work overtime. It was a bit too much because I have been working overtime for many, many days already, and I think she knew it was my birthday because she was the one who passed me my company birthday card in the morning.

Where is the love?!?!?!

In the end, I wormed off after telling her I was going to the canteen to buy food for her. I think she was a bit pissed because when she called to ask why I was taking such a long time, I told her I meant I was getting her breakfast for the next morning. Heh.

Sushi Eating Friend was in a happy mood when I met up with her. Her office threw a surprise birthday party for her during tea time, and even gave her half the day off to go shopping. I asked her if there are any job openings in her company, but she cryptically replied “There are enough loser-male types in the office already.” I have no idea what that has got to do with me though. Haha.

Besides being in a happy mood, Sushi Eating Friend was in a generous mood too. She said that since she gets to watch the concert for free because of me, she is buying me dinner at any restaurant that I fancy. She looked flabbergasted when I told her my choice, but we ended up where I wanted anyway.

After the very fulfilling dinner at KFC, we made our way to the Esplanade. That was a very momentous moment in life for me because it was the very first time I’m in the Esplanade. Being the suaku I am, I started taking pictures of the place after we were seated. I have no idea why, but Sushi Eating Friend looked kind of embarrassed when I started snapping away.

The concert started promptly, and even though I am no fan of Bossa Nova, I found myself humming along to the songs. I was very happy with Ono sang Take Me Home Country Road because it brought back happy memories of my very brief tenure as a boy scout. Come to think of it actually, the memories were not very happy, but never mind. Haha. I think my mum would have enjoyed the concert too because she did 何日君再來 for encore, heh.

Sushi Eating Friend was nice enough to offer me a ride home when the concert ended, and we had this conversation on our way to the car park.


Sushi Eating Friend: Hey. You lied when you said the tickets were sponsored by your client right?

Me: *Gasp* How did you find out?!?!?

Sushi Eating Friend: The ticket receipt has your name on it.


There is no cure for stupidity.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Nuts

Hello everyone! I just got back from the concert, is sibeh tired, still have to rush out a report for work, so I is sibeh stressed, so will not blog tonight lah ok?

For an alternative source of entertainment, check out this video about my beloved alma mater, NTU.





On a side note, I am very glad they name it Nanyang Technological University instead of Nanyang University of Technology, otherwise I have to tell people I graduated from NUTs. Heh.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Tips Of The 28 Year Old Virgin

This seems unreal to me, but in a few minutes’ time, I am going to be 28.

Twenty-freaking-eight-years-old!

While turning 28 is not really that big a deal, I do find it amazing that I managed to keep my virginity intact for more than ten thousand days. Being a very selfless person, let me share some tips with you on how you can be a long time virgin too :)


Tip #01) Don’t get a girlfriend
The rationale for this is very simple. If you are a guy and do not have a girlfriend, it is going to be difficult losing your virginity. If you are a girl who is reading this and wish to remain a virgin, simply do the opposite and not get a boyfriend.

Tip #02) Don’t get a boyfriend
If you are a guy and do not have a boyfriend, it is going to be difficult losing your virginity too.

Tip #03) Try to stay at home alone as often as possible
Going by the logic of Tip #01 and Tip #02, a very good way of not getting a girlfriend or boyfriend is by staying at home alone. Do not indulge in social activities such as wining and dining because you might end up making friends, and goodness knows what might happen next. You might end up with a girlfriend, and you know what that means.

Tip #04) If you have to go out, go to homely places like the library
Actually, this is not a very good tip because I’ve seen kids making out at Toa Payoh library.

Tip #05) Sell your TV
The TV is a very, very sinful thing. Every time I switch it on, I’ll be hit by a Triumph bra advert every few seconds or so. Repeat after me: the TV is very, very sinful because it puts very, very sinful thoughts into your head. In fact I think it will be a wise idea to sell your computer along with the TV too.

Tip #06) Stop taking public transport
Very often, I am an unwilling witness to very public displays of affection by affectionate couples while taking the train home. I really wish the guy would stop necking his girl, because he is making me feel very deprived and jealous this kind of things should be done at home or Toa Payoh library.

Tip #07) Stop taking private transport
I don’t have one, but I heard that guys who have fancy car(s) will usually get fancy girlfriends as well. According to Tip #01, you might end up losing your virginity if you have a girlfriend, so going by this train of thought, it makes sense not to have private transport. This seems to be in conflict with Tip #06, because if you can’t take public and private transport, what are you going to do if you need to go somewhere? If you don’t know the answer to this riddle, simply re-read Tip #03.


As I am desperately trying to lose my virginity, I resolve to do the reverse of the above tips. With the exception of Tip #02 of course. Heh.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Life Can Be Very Unpredictable

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I was going to try my best to convince Sushi Eating Friend that it’s not in her best interest to go to the concert date with Mr Ex Boyfriend. Being the very subtle Man of Action that I am, I broached the subject in a nonchalant manner midway through our very big bowls of minestrone and mushroom at The Soup Spoon.


Me: So how’s your preparation for the coming concert?

Sushi Eating Friend: (Gives a blank look) What concert?

Me: Huh? The Ono Lisa concert that Mr Ex Boyfriend invited you to!

Sushi Eating Friend: Oh! That concert. I’m not going.

Me: Huh?!?! But she’s like your favorite artiste!

Sushi Eating Friend: She is.

Sushi Eating Friend: But there’s no way I’m going to sit through 2 hours’ worth of concert with an asshole.

Sushi Eating Friend: Besides, I can afford my own tickets.

Me: Umm. . . . You don’t have to. (Pulls tickets out of my pockets) I happen to have a pair of free tickets, from, umm, a client.


I am going to watch Ono Lisa this Wednesday :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Oprah Interview

Oprah Winner: Good evening everyone. Hello and welcome to The Oprah Winner Show.

Oprah: Tonight, we have with us in the studio a very special guest. A big round of applause for Mr Sibeh Sian please.

Sibeh Sian: Haha, hello everyone! I am Sibeh Sian, hahahaha. . . .

Oprah: I hope you are comfortably settled on the couch, Mr Sian. Now tell us: how does it feel to be a 28-year-old virgin?

Sian: Actually, my birthday is still a week away, so technically speaking I am still a 27-year-old virgin, haha. . . . Anyway, I don’t feel any different from non-virgins even though I am a virgin. I think. Actually that is not very accurate because I don’t know how a non-virgin would feel like because I am not a non-virgin, haha. . . .

Oprah: Fine. But knowing that men are biologically wired to sow their seeds around, do you feel deprived?

Sian: To be very honest, I don’t really feel deprived because there are so much more to life than sex, such as TV and Chinese Chess over the internet, haha. . . .

Oprah: . . . . Right.

Oprah: Anyway, the reason why we invited you to the show is because we understand you are in a situation right now. Your good friend might possibly get back into a relationship with a jerk who has hurt her before and who might possibly do so again. And you are sitting around and doing nothing. What kind of a man are you, Mr Sian?

Sian: . . . . I am a Man of Action.

Sian: I have thought it over, and have decided that I am not going to sit on my butt and whine. In fact, I am going to be proactive, and put a decisive stop to Mr Ex Boyfriend’s evil plans.

Oprah: Wow, that is quite a surprise. Do you mind telling us what you have in mind, Mr Sian?

Sian: I am going to find a bunch of Ah Bengs to beat Mr Ex Boyfriend up so he can’t go to the concert.

Sian: But since I have no Ah Beng friends, I have to make do with Plan B: I am having dinner with Sushi Eating Friend on Friday night, and I am going to tell her that she shouldn’t go to the concert with Mr Ex Boyfriend because he is a jerk and he has herpes.

Oprah: That is very smart! I think you are a very clever boy, Mr Sian. However, I understand you also have two tickets to the Ono Lisa concert that you have kept stuffed in your pockets since your trip to the airport.

Sian: Oh! Those tickets! They can’t be used now. My mum threw my pants into the washing machine, and they are now in crumbs.

Sian: Haha, I was just kidding. I have not figured out what to do with the tickets yet.

Oprah: Fine, Mr Sian, I respect your non-decision. I think it would be a bad idea too to pass her the concert tickets now, because that might add to her emotional confusion.

Sian: I am so glad you agree with my non-decision!

Oprah: Yes indeed. By the way, since you are not going to the concert, can you give me your tickets please? I am quite a fan of Ono.

Sian: No problem. $1000 per ticket please.

Oprah: You go hong gan lah you.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about One Week Before My 28th Birthday

I bought tickets for The Departed just now, and the usher asked for my IC.

I am a very happy boy :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Return Of Sushi Eating Friend Part IV

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a very nice and full dinner. I know I did because I just returned from KFC. 2-piece meal with 2 O.R. fillet burgers, cheese fries, and I washed it all down with a large iced lemon tea. As I am more health conscious nowadays, I had coleslaw as the side instead of my usual whipped potato. I am a very healthy boy :)

Anyway, like I was saying yesterday, I was very surprised to see Mr Ex Boyfriend with Sushi Eating Friend at the airport. I was very surprised because they didn’t exactly part on good terms back in the uni after she caught him in bed with the Hall babe. Twice.

I think Mr Ex Boyfriend don’t really like me much because the first thing he said upon seeing me was not “How are you, Sian!”, but rather a “Your standards dropped already huh?” to Sushi Eating Friend.

What the?!?!?!?


“That guy is such a jerk!” said Sushi Eating Friend between the many plates of sushi at Sakae. “Some people just don’t change, do they?”

“But hey, it’s quite something to bump into someone familiar in the crowded streets of Hong Kong huh?” I was pleasantly surprised that she declined his offer of a ride home to have dinner with me. “And you guys happened to be on the same flight!”

“Bah. I think fate is nothing but hogwash. By the way, I really wasn’t expecting you to be here. I mean, you didn’t write even though you promised to!”


Before I could launch my vehement protest about how I have been sending her letters week after week, her phone beeped. It was an SMS from Mr Ex Boyfriend, which goes: “There are some things I can never forget, such as your birthday next Wednesday, such as how much you love Ono Lisa, and such as how sweet your smiles are. So I got myself two tickets to her concert next Wednesday in the hope of seeing you smile again.”


Sometimes, life is all about fate.

I let my Ono Lisa tickets remain in my pockets.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Return Of Sushi Eating Friend Part III

So yesterday I combed my hair, epilated my chin, and stuffed the Ono Lisa tickets into my pockets before rushing off to the airport for Sushi Eating Friend.

I realized that I mistook her arrival time to be an hour later just when I left my house, and so took a cab to avoid being late. I am such a good friend! In fact, I am such a good friend, I thought about treating her to Shanghai cuisine as I bet she must be missing Shanghai after spending a couple of months there. Haha.

I ended up being early instead, and after an hour of people-watching, I finally saw Sushi Eating Friend passing through the pearly gates of the Arrival Hall. She was very surprised to see me, but I think I was even more surprised than her because Mr Ex Boyfriend came through the gates with her. Haha.

I think I will continue tomorrow. Not really in the mood for blogging, haha, must be because I am tired from work.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Return Of Sushi Eating Friend Part II

After thinking about it for some time, I have decided to pick Sushi Eating Friend at the airport later. Although she has not been very nice to me, I know it can be quite a sucky feeling when you return to a home where no one welcomes you.

Who knows, she might even get emotional, and say something romantic like “Oh Sian, let’s have KFC for dinner”. Heh.

In the meantime, I have added The Chinese Cooked Food Auntie into my collection of poem. Enjoy :D!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Chinese Cooked Food Auntie

Hello everyone :D!

Thanks for your kind comments to my previous post, but I must stress this very important point: I am not interested in Sushi Eating Friend. Serious. We have been platonic friends for ages, and even though I am dying to lose my status as a soon-to-be 28 year old virgin, I will do nothing to jeopardize that friendship. Really. I think.

Anyway, I have been feeling poetic lately, so here’s a poem about something that happened to me last week:


The Chinese Cooked Food Auntie

There was once this Chinese cooked food auntie,
Who cooked at the nearby eatery.
I lunched at her stall nearly daily,
And she pampered me with lots of gravy.

Then one day while I was eating,
I noticed a weird looking piece of ikan bilis.
On closer inspection I screamed,
For it was a fried lizard tail with cream.

I marched up to my Chinese cooked food auntie,
And exclaimed I didn’t order KFL with cream.
She tried denying vehemently,
Until I showed her the rest of the poor lizard’s body.

“Come come boy!” she tried to pacify me,
“Let me make you an offer you can’t resist!”
Then she dragged me behind the dark alley,
Where she tempted me with three days’ worth of fried chicken wings.

Oh that evil Chinese cooked food auntie!
She knew my weakness well and grabbed it!
I hope I won’t be caught by the CPIB,
For I have been bribed by the Chinese cooked food auntie.

-Sibeh Sian
Autumn, 2006

Just in case you are wondering, the chicken wings were very nice and crunchy :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about The Return Of Sushi Eating Friend

Two months has passed since that day at the airport, and Sushi Eating Friend will finally be back this weekend.

To be frank, I am very upset with Sushi Eating Friend because to date, I have received a grand total of zero letters and zero postcards from her. The only communication we had was two emails, with the first one going “I reached le”, and the second going “I will be back this Saturday”.

Even though she made no promises about writing, I have been checking my letter box diligently with the hope of getting some par avion. Disappointment was inevitable, for the only overseas mail I received was a winning lottery ticket from Nigeria. Sigh. To think I’ve been sending her letters every week!

I am thinking of giving her the cold treatment because I want her to know that I’m not a friend to be taken for granted.

On my way home yesterday though, I passed by a Sistic outlet, and ended up three-digits poorer because I remember someone really digs Ono Lisa, and the concert happens to fall on our birthdays.





I kind of regret my impulsiveness because the tickets are very expensive, because I can’t stand Bossa Nova, and because I am supposed to be angry with Sushi Eating Friend.

Please advise me on what to do next!

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about How To Protect Yourself From The Haze

I realize that I have been posting really frivolous entries ever since I started this blog, so I will like to post something useful for a change. Being a Man of Action, I shall post something useful today.

The haze invaded Singapore over the weekend, and it pains me to know that my fellow countrymen (and countrywomen, haha) are suffering from the resultant cough and flu. The best thing to do, of course, is to stay indoors with the air-conditioner and purifier on. But what if you are outside and get assaulted by a PSI of 200?

Fret not, because today, Sibeh Sian will teach you how to protect yourself from the haze. In three simple steps.


Step #01:
Find a piece of tissue.

Step #02:
Find two rubber bands.

Step #03:
Cover your nostrils and mouth with the tissue and rubber bands.


If you have followed my instructions diligently, you will get something like this:





I am such a clever boy :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about I Am So Dead II

I was feeling fatalistic after typing my previous entry because I knew I was in for a royal screwing from my Boss for not preparing the presentation. I couldn’t take an MC because I have already tried that stunt before, and my Boss had promised to make good his threat of giving me the sack if I do that again.

When my mum passed me a box of soon-to-be-expired mooncakes to bring to the office, I cryptically said “Sorry Ma, I have not been a very good son”. My mum replied by saying “Silly boy, in Ma’s eyes you are the best boy in the world!”

Sigh.

As if all the above was not bad enough, I had to call for a taxi because I was already late. In the cab, a thousand and one things raced through my mind, including life and death matters such as what shall I do if I get fired, how am I going to support my mum, what shall I eat for lunch, and how much the cab fare was going to be.

Then, in the air-conditioned comfort of Comfort (no pun intended), a bold idea struck me on how I can get myself out of this fix. It was audacious, but I had no choice but to set my plans in motion because when I reached the office, the meeting was already well underway.


Boss: Ok, we’ve come to the last item on our agenda. As you all know, I have been working on how esprit de corps can be improved in the office. As part of these ongoing HR initiatives, I’ve tasked Sibeh Sian to research on the works of famous western HR gurus, and he will share his findings with us today.

Boss: Ok Sian, you can start now.

Me: Haha, good morning everyone. I will start by telling everyone that although I am talking about esprit de corps today, I have no Esprit vouchers to distribute, hahahaha. . . .

(I thought I was funny, but silence reigned in the meeting room)

Me: Ahem. . . . I am going to be very frank: I have not done any preparation for this presentation.

Me: Ask yourself this: when was the last time you took a breather at work to look at the picture of your loved ones at the desk? When was the last time you really enjoyed your lunch? When was the last time you laughed, and when was the last time you sat down and enjoyed a piece of mooncake with your colleagues?

Me: Your answer to the above questions is probably a “I can’t remember”. And the reason for that is that in our relentless quest to bring profits to the company, we have perhaps neglected the simpler things in life.

Me: I have prepared no fanciful presentation slides for you today, nor have I prepared any fanciful quotation from western self-help gurus. This is not because I overslept and failed in my duties, but because the key to office camaraderie is there in our hearts all along. We must realize that if we can take a step back and start appreciating the simpler stuff in life, the office will be a much better place to work in. We don’t need some rich ang mo to tell us that.

Me: I propose we change the way things are right here, right now.

(I took out the box of mooncakes my mum passed me earlier)

Me: I apologize to everyone for being late for this meeting, because the famed Katong bakery I bought this from doesn’t open that early.


For some reason, someone started clapping in the meeting room, and everyone followed. I almost peed in my pants.

So while everyone was enjoying the mooncakes in the meeting room, my Boss came up to me, shook my hand, and congratulated me on a job well done. He also asked me to post my speech in my blog , which I did :)

Sometimes in life, you get out of the stickiest of situations in the most unexpected way.

Heh.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about I Am So Dead

It is now 8:17am.

I have a presentation for my Boss at 10:30am.

I wanted to start preparing for it at 4:00am.

My two alarm clocks both ran out of batteries.

It is now 8:17am, I am still at home and I am in Blogger.

I am so dead.


With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about Porn

Updated!


Warning:
This is an RA post. You have been warned. Heh.


I am not trying advocate anything here, but one of the topics that came up during my late night chats with Nerd at this place, was on porn.

After some profound discussion, we arrived at the following conclusions:


1) It pays to be buck-ugly
Except for some rare exceptions, the male leads in Jap porn are more often than not pimply, wrinkly, and buck-ugly. I am thus seriously considering migrating to Japan.

2) An epilator is one of the best gifts you can give to a female friend
Let’s not go into details here.

3) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to have fanciful movie titles
Some of the more ‘imaginative’ titles we came across include ‘Beauty & The Beast Vol.8’, ‘Survivor: Outwit, Outplay, Outcum’, and ‘Apprentice: You are F*****!’

4) To succeed in the porn industry, you need to an even fancier sounding name
There was one fella who called himself ‘Mr 18 Inch’, and one who calls himself ‘Mr Cuminator’. Going by this logic, I reckon I will never make it as a porn star because I doubt people will be interested in someone named ‘Sibeh Sian’.


I think he has been studying too much, but Nerd commented that if he ever enters the industry, he will call himself ‘Dr Penetrator’. I thought for a long while, and finally decided on ‘Juicy Pussy’ for myself. Heh.

So what would you call yourself?

With Love,
Sibeh ‘Juicy Pussy’ Sian

Update:

Here’re the responses of the people around me when I asked them the question:

Adrenaline:
‘Flame Girl’

Nerd (he wanted more than one stage name):
‘Doctor Love’

Office Bimbo:
‘Ivana Humpalot’

My Boss:
‘You Hong Gan Lah You!’

My Mum:
‘Boy, Cannot Do This Kind of Thing!’

The long and short about I Am A Very Clever Boy

Among the five weekdays, Monday sucks pretty much often. It feels even worse if you are returning from a week-long holiday to find piles of shitty paper work at your desk.

It’s times like this when I wish I am a tai-tai.

Work aside, I feel kind of awkward after that recent fiasco with Office Bimbo. Getting rejected before confessing (not that I have any feelings to confess to Office Bimbo), I tell you, is a damn weird feeling. It’s like getting a speeding ticket before you got your driving license. It’s like getting the sack before you got hired. It’s like getting herpes when you haven’t even seen anyone naked. I think you get the idea.

Anyway, I try to avoid Office Bimbo at common areas such as the pantry and the office loo, but that has proved to be difficult because I snack and pee a lot. I don’t know if Nerd was trying to be funny or what when I asked him for advice, but I don’t think wearing pampers is a very good idea.

Then while eating soon kueh during tea break, I hit upon a winning idea, which you can read here.

I hope Office Bimbo will read that entry soon. I am such a clever boy :)

With Love,
Sibeh Sian

The long and short about My Stay With Nerd

When people gets swarmed with work, you are likely to hear the words “I need a break” from them. I am no different, but being a Man of Action, I decided to walk the talk and applied for leave last week. It happened to be Nerd’s mid-semestral break, and when he asked me to spend the week over at his place, I jumped at the offer.

I am so glad I did because it was enormous.

I knew Nerd was rich, but I had no idea he was actually staying at a 3-storey high bungalow with a garden, a pool, and a tennis court. Yes, a blardy tennis court. If I am his maid, I will dress sexily every day and seduce him by showing a boob or two I tell you.

Anyway, I didn’t swim or play tennis because I don’t know how to, and because I was busy playing 三国无双 with Nerd. He also offered to guide me along Fatal Frame, but I declined because the cover was very scary, haha. I think I will give up blogging if I ever buy a PS2 because it’s so damn addictive. To Adrenaline, if you are reading this: PS3 should be released in late November :)

Of course, my stay at Nerd’s was not just spent on games. We talked late into the night, and I got to know him much better. His folks are seldom at home, and according to Nerd, that has been the way since childhood. He occupied his free time by playing a lot of computer games, and he said that’s the reason why he trashed me at every game, haha.

He also has an elder brother who, according to pictures, was handsome, hunky, and graduated from MIT. I asked Nerd whether he ever felt suicidal because it was apparent that he was missing a large chunk of family genes. He replied with a cryptic ‘haha’ that didn’t say much. According to pictures too, he has a very sweet and cute younger sister, and I immediately asked if she was attached and if I stood a chance. I have no idea why, but he replied with a ‘haha’ too.

Before I knew it, my three-day-two-night stay at Nerd’s up. Even though I didn’t exactly appreciate his snoring, I was very reluctant to leave because I had a really good time. I also bid a very emotional farewell to his PS2.

I suspect his mum was happy to see me go though. She looked very, very disturbed when she saw me and Nerd emerging together from the steaming Jacuzzi the other day.

With Love,
Sibeh Sian